Was she 'normal' and just behaving badly?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Sometimes I wonder if she was just a normal woman who I empowered to behave badly.

Like if you make someone feel too valuable, he/she will by human nature take advantage of that power, even to the point of feeling like you are disposable.   If he/she is so special to you, surely he/she can upgrade and find someone "better" who will think of them the same way.

Sometimes I just wondered if I had played the man/woman game better -- held back a little, been a little more distant, ignored bad behavior instead of flipping out about it, those sort of things -- that I'd have maintained a power balance/pecking order/etc.

[struggli]

Sometimes I wonder if she was just a normal woman who I empowered to behave badly.

Like if you make someone feel too valuable, he/she will by human nature take advantage of that power, even to the point of feeling like you are disposable.   If he/she is so special to you, surely he/she can upgrade and find someone "better" who will think of them the same way.

Sometimes I just wondered if I had played the man/woman game better -- held back a little, been a little more distant, ignored bad behavior instead of flipping out about it, those sort of things -- that I'd have maintained a power balance/pecking order/etc.

[trevjim]

I almost posted a similar thing earlia, wondering if my ex didn't have BPD and it was just me making her act like that, but looking back through our r/s and her previous ones, I realised she is textbook BPD and that even if I wasn't perfect, someone who didn't have BPD wouldn't have acted or reacted how she did at times