Why did I Settle for Less?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

 

Just a rhetorical question really and one only I can answer.  But honesty, what did I expect?  BPD dynamics aside, my ex made it clear he was in it for the sex.  And I knew it, yet when he escalated our relationship, I told myself it would work.  Why did I convince myself that a relationship based upon sex was a good idea?  Why did I settle for less than I knew I wanted and deserved?

Isn't this like going into McDonalds and expecting to eat gormet?  Why was I surprised the item I orderd from the dollar menu gave me food poisoning?  Why was fast food love good enough?

After extensive soul searching I've come to the conclusion that I let mediocre sex cloud my judgement.  And the sex?  It was good until it wasn't.  To say I was objectified is putting it lightly.  He may have pretended but so did I and by the time I couldn't pretend anymore I was in over my head.  He was enmeshed with me and I with him.  It was like extracting myself from a cobweb.  

Our choices define who we are and my choices have been based upon desperation and fear.  Next time?  I'm not stopping at McDonalds.

tailspin

[tailspin]

 

Just a rhetorical question really and one only I can answer.  But honesty, what did I expect?  BPD dynamics aside, my ex made it clear he was in it for the sex.  And I knew it, yet when he escalated our relationship, I told myself it would work.  Why did I convince myself that a relationship based upon sex was a good idea?  Why did I settle for less than I knew I wanted and deserved?

Isn't this like going into McDonalds and expecting to eat gormet?  Why was I surprised the item I orderd from the dollar menu gave me food poisoning?  Why was fast food love good enough?

After extensive soul searching I've come to the conclusion that I let mediocre sex cloud my judgement.  And the sex?  It was good until it wasn't.  To say I was objectified is putting it lightly.  He may have pretended but so did I and by the time I couldn't pretend anymore I was in over my head.  He was enmeshed with me and I with him.  It was like extracting myself from a cobweb.  

Our choices define who we are and my choices have been based upon desperation and fear.  Next time?  I'm not stopping at McDonalds.

tailspin

[birdlady]

If you'll forgive a little humor, I think MickeyD's is too nice a comparison. Sounds more like you dined at the roach coach.

Best wishes to you.

[Forestaken]

I settled for less because out of work. I got sh!t for brains. 

However, after a while, it's very fertile soil!

[turtle]

Our choices define who we are and my choices have been based upon desperation and fear.  Next time?  I'm not stopping at McDonalds.

Good for you.  Fast food will ultimately kill you!

I don't know that I want a next time, but if ever I decide that I do... .  I'm not stopping at McDonalds either.  Love the analogy.

turtle