Some things didn't add up.
-We had sex on the first date. She was very into it.
[snip]
-About 3 months in she starts crying and dissociating during sex
[snip]
So, it's like there's this promiscuous "I'm going to be a hooker,
[snip]
But I guess that makes sense for BPD/PTSD/... . ?
Hi Struggli,
My first uBPDgf, very similar. First date, very into it; actually the sex happened because she grabbed my hand at the door when I was leaving, held onto it, I was already having second thoughts about even having a second date, but no, I stayed (that night, and etc.). Great sex.
Then, second time we had sex, probably the next time we were together, sex still seemed great but she cried for an hour afterward. I had no idea why. Really, I still don't, except that I believe that she was sexually abused by her father, violently, and was terrified of him her whole life at home.
Then the 'maybe I should be a hooker?' Yes, she came up with that later.
Promiscuity? I don't know the extent, but definitely some -- she had a quickie during a party with someone she worked with two weeks before we first had our pivotal date, yet she was jumping from a relatively stable boyfriend to me -- the quickie was somebody else.
Soon after we were together she told me she had just that day gone to a film by herself and a man beside her had groped her, and she felt disgusted at him and at herself but couldn't do anything, just sat there and let him do it.
She told me later about how in university she used to double-book guys for dates, regularly. She'd sometimes decide at the last minute which one she was going out with, and just stand the other one up, no explanation.
So, based on my experience, I believe what you describe is BPD related, but in my opinion likely also means there was serious early sexual abuse. Perhaps not possible to separate the two in this case.
There must be BPD without a heavy direct sexual abuse component also, which might not have these same patterns, but yours seems eerily familiar to me.
PP
