If we are the triggers is that a complement

[cal644]

I saw someone post that we become the trigger because we become close to them.  Is that a complement?  Does that mean that they do care?  If so why do they push us away and do things to sabatoge the relationship?

[trevjim]

To an extent yes, although there are other types of triggers.

As to why, I believe its because they have a fear of engulfment, and that they feel if they show you the real them, you will not like what you see and abandon them.

So I think they try to abandon you before you do it to them.

[seeking balance]

I saw someone post that we become the trigger because we become close to them.  Is that a complement?  Does that mean that they do care?  If so why do they push us away and do things to sabatoge the relationship?

yes

Fear of abandonment and engulfment can only come if you value the connection.

[TheDude]

yes

Fear of abandonment and engulfment can only come if you value the connection.

Yep. And I don't know about anyone else, but I can't find any way of reconciling that fact with the concept of a "complement" - considering where that eventually leads.