Should I make an effort or wait for her?

[inepted]

Since my BPDexgf and I broke up a few weeks ago, Ive been focusing on myself. Doing things I enjoy, etc. Since we broke up, we decided to still remained friends. Ive seen how she was in previous relationships, and while she admits her feelings with me were different than those shes been with in the past, she's still confused about what she feels, and knows in order to be healthy, she's going to therapy and working on herself first before she'll be in a relationship again.

I'm still sort of confused as to how I should be going about things with right now. Ive noticed she's currently mirroring my actions of communication. When I make the first move, she'll respond and we can talk for hours. We'll have fun, and it's like it always was. It feels natural and right. If I don't say anything however, neither will she. She'll ignore me as long as I ignore her. But then, she's always been incredibly stubborn like that.

I want to make things work. I know it will be hard, but I want to be with her. Despite her BPD, she has always put me first, and has always done whatever it took to make me happy. Am I crazy for continuing to engage her, even though its what I want?

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[briefcase]

If you want to rengage her (and no one on this board will think that's crazy!), then you should gently make the first move.  At least, that's my hunch.  Keep working on yourself, and give her plenty of space to work on herself and continue therapy.  Be respectful of her boundaries . . . if she's not ready, then accept that. 

[inepted]

Im just stuck at how to make the first move... .  In the past, I know I may have pressured her too much, and we became too dependent on one another. I dont want to fully engage her to the point that she starts feeling as if Im suffocating her again... .  But like I said, she's incredibly stubborn, and unless I try, she wont make a move, no matter how much she wants to.