Having a hard riding the depression wave right now...

[Foreverhopefull]

I'm really struggling with not loosing my calm during this rise in his depression. :'(

He's harder to get back on track right now because he's also struggling with turning 40 and "being such a loser who never did anything good and never will". I tried reminding him of his successes, but he turned them all to a bigger negative (i.e. our marriage = him not being a good husband who's putting me through hell; owning a house = only because of me and my career, etc.).

Nothing I do or say helps, it's actually makes it worst (in my view). So now I'm just staying around silent, waiting to be his rock when he needs it.

I hate when all I can do is sit and wait in silence. :'(

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mara2]

I'm in the same boat here, almost word for word.  I'm struggling with the fact that I've lost a lot of empathy for his situation because he does not seem to want to get better, just seems to revel in it.  Trying to stay positive and not get mad at him. 

It helps me to know I'm not alone- thanks for posting.

[briefcase]

It's a tough spot.  Just try to remember . . . it's not really your jon to "get him back on track" when he's down.  We can always try to cheer someone up who's down, but dealing with chronic depression is up to him. You need to take great care of yourself, so that you are strong and can be supportive of him when he takes action to help himself.   

[Foreverhopefull]

I'm struggling with the fact that I've lost a lot of empathy for his situation because he does not seem to want to get better, just seems to revel in it.

I might have miscommunicated my feelings, I haven't lost empathy, I just don't know what to do that can help. He's been working so hard to stay away from it, but having dysthymia and BPD it's hard for him not to get sucked into the sadness.

Don't take me wrong, I know it's not my fight and duty to make him better, I'm just trying to make him more "comfortable" while his therapist is away from her office. It just seems that everything I try to do makes it worst. I'm one of those people that just has a hard time with someone you love being hurt or sad.