Sparkley
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 96
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« Reply #32 on: March 01, 2013, 02:07:06 PM » |
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NS:
You are trying to figure out her actions/reactions based on normal social behaviors.
Until you understand that BPD is a mental disorder that includes the word insane, you'll continue the dance of insanity.
How much time have you taken to really study or understand the symptoms of BPD? You've been working on yourself and your anxiety, but perhaps you should take some time to really, intensely learn about BPD and how it manifests in people.
Just my thoughts... . your ex is angry at you. You had a great evening and she was interested THAT night, that moment, in talking about your relationship together. Then you were busy the next day. To a borderline, that was complete rejection. You are indifferent= you don't care. If you do care, you smother and scare her. You were/are being punished. If you don't play along to her feelings, you will be punished. She thinks you are mocking her. She also admitted that she did some things to hurt you, she can't see anything other than herself as being BLACK. There is no grey. She did you wrong... . she is awful. So then why are you wanting more from her, she asks, since she is so BLACK? Oh, it's bc you are now BLACK and now she is WHITE. She is being stalked by you and she is now in control. She must be such a wonderful person and you are so awful that you aren't worth her time. Oh, you're off of her radar. Oh, we just passed each other, I remember him. I need to call him. He turned me down again. I am awful. No, wait. He's the one dating another woman and now he is flirting with me. That's bad. Society says that's bad. I will ignore him. I feel so alone. I need to call someone. Oh this guy responds to me. I am thinking about him. I remember him again, I loved him. He was the love of my life. Oh wait, Dave is calling. Dave is the love of my life. Oh, Dave told me he loves me more than life itself, I feel so scared. I hate myself. I need to do something to relieve this pain, I'll call NS, oh yes, I feel distracted, better. NS is my night in shining armor... . here we go again.
That last paragraph was written so... . insanely, on purpose.
Sorry, NS, you can't make sense of crazy. You can't react around it either. In doing so, it makes your actions insane as well.
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