Here one day... gone the next...

[sm15000]

Yes, she is in a relationship but if I'm just waiting around I'm just rebound food for the needy right?

Again, hard game to play as with a BPD it's aways hard to figure if it's real or if it's a game... .  

It must be hard because deep down you still seem like you want a r/s with this woman but you will only be rebound food for the needy if you let yourself be.  :)on't play the game.  Be honest with your feelings (what you would like & how you feel about her) but be firm on your boundaries.  :)o you know what they are?

If you have offered an alternative and there is no response, you are right, carry on with your plans.  I think this is the most important factor you will have to overcome with her. . .that she may be part of your life but not all of it  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[NewStart]

It's funny, we had a great conversation on the phone on Friday and she wasn't able to do anything with me this weekend because she had her daugter so I headed out of town skiing... .  then poof off the radar and no responses to a couple of texts while I was out of town.  I could have almost guessed it, I don't know maybe she feels abandoned... .  heck who really knows why this woman does the things she does.

sm15000-you bet it's tough because she would be an amazing woman in some respects to spend the rest of my life with... .  but on the other hand unless she seeks REAL help she can be the biggest nightmare too... .  

Her and I really need to continue our conversation because we started to break into some of that territory before the night ended... .  and I think she knows and really wants to talk about it.

[Sparkley]

NS:

You are trying to figure out her actions/reactions based on normal social behaviors.

Until you understand that BPD is a mental disorder that includes the word insane, you'll continue the dance of insanity. 

How much time have you taken to really study or understand the symptoms of BPD?  You've been working on yourself and your anxiety, but perhaps you should take some time to really, intensely learn about BPD and how it manifests in people.

Just my thoughts... .  your ex is angry at you.  You had a great evening and she was interested THAT night, that moment, in talking about your relationship together.  Then you were busy the next day.  To a borderline, that was complete rejection.  You are indifferent= you don't care.  If you do care, you smother and scare her.  You were/are being punished.  If you don't play along to her feelings, you will be punished.  She thinks you are mocking her.  She also admitted that she did some things to hurt you, she can't see anything other than herself as being BLACK.  There is no grey.  She did you wrong... .  she is awful.  So then why are you wanting more from her, she asks, since she is so BLACK?  Oh, it's bc you are now BLACK and now she is WHITE.  She is being stalked by you and she is now in control.  She must be such a wonderful person and you are so awful that you aren't worth her time. Oh, you're off of her radar.  Oh, we just passed each other, I remember him.  I need to call him.  He turned me down again.  I am awful.   No, wait.  He's the one dating another woman and now he is flirting with me.  That's bad.  Society says that's bad.  I will ignore him.  I feel so alone.  I need to call someone.  Oh this guy responds to me.  I am thinking about him.  I remember him again, I loved him.  He was the love of my life.  Oh wait, Dave is calling.  Dave is the love of my life.  Oh, Dave told me he loves me more than life itself, I feel so scared.  I hate myself. I need to do something to relieve this pain, I'll call NS, oh yes, I feel distracted, better.  NS is my night in shining armor... .  here we go again. 

That last paragraph was written so... .  insanely, on purpose. 

Sorry, NS, you can't make sense of crazy.  You can't react around it either.  In doing so, it makes your actions insane as well.