AGAIN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO TELL A LOVE INTEREST ABOUT MY EXwBPD

[Not2Crazy]

AGAIN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO TELL A LOVE INTEREST ABOUT MY EXwBPD

yep I think she thought she had characteristics like that and was I going to think that she had BPD. too early? or what?

[hithere]

Talking about ex's is a slippery slope.  Sometimes you don't realize how much anger or resentment you have and how that comes across to another person that barely knows you.

I spoke about my ex with BPD pretty early on and my current love was empathetic and understanding but I have had occasions in the past where someone new I met would be turned-off to hear about an ex.

Really you don't know much about her past experiences, maybe she just didn't want someone that had that kind of baggage.  Either way I would tone down talking about the ex, especially at the beginning.

[WrongWoman]

I have found that it serves little purpose to introduce this information too early in nearly any relationship.  Only friends who have known me for many years know about my uBPD (w/NPD traits) mother, for instance.  I think we live in a rather confessional society that makes us feel less than honest if we don't spill the beans about everything we've been through.  I don't buy into that.

[isshebpd]

I was actually told these exact words: "My mother told me to stay away from boys who have bad relationships with their mothers." (wise words, maybe).

That's how she ended the relationship. She started it anyhow, discovered I was damaged goods, and dumped me.

I had no idea what a personality disorder was at the time, but I had said some things about my mother while drunk.