Are those with BPD easily manipulated as well?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I know they are very good at manipulation; most of us can vow for that.  Are they easily manipulated as well?  Do they just believe what they want to hear? 

My ex and I had this mutual "friend"- this friend was actually closer to me, but I had started distancing myself, because this "friend" always caused drama and loved to talk himself up.  He's extremely immature and selfish, socially awkward, brash, etc... .  - just not a pleasant person to be around.  My ex (probably just agreeing with me) also mentioned how annoying he was and how he hated being around him.  Now they're like best friends- extremely immature, etc.  After my ex broke up with me, this "friend" went back and lied to my ex about me bad-mouthing him.  This "friend" also tried to ask me out, which I rejected.  That's when he went back and lied more to him.  My ex knew this guy loves drama and would be capable of lying, so why believe him?  Now, they just bring out the worst in each other. 

I'm guessing my ex wanted to believe that I would say those awful things,... is it part of the disorder? 

[SarahinMA]

I know they are very good at manipulation; most of us can vow for that.  Are they easily manipulated as well?  Do they just believe what they want to hear? 

My ex and I had this mutual "friend"- this friend was actually closer to me, but I had started distancing myself, because this "friend" always caused drama and loved to talk himself up.  He's extremely immature and selfish, socially awkward, brash, etc... .  - just not a pleasant person to be around.  My ex (probably just agreeing with me) also mentioned how annoying he was and how he hated being around him.  Now they're like best friends- extremely immature, etc.  After my ex broke up with me, this "friend" went back and lied to my ex about me bad-mouthing him.  This "friend" also tried to ask me out, which I rejected.  That's when he went back and lied more to him.  My ex knew this guy loves drama and would be capable of lying, so why believe him?  Now, they just bring out the worst in each other. 

I'm guessing my ex wanted to believe that I would say those awful things,... is it part of the disorder? 

[momtara]

I think so.  My hubby would forget things that were stressful at times.  This occasionally worked in my favor. 

[struggli]

My ex would hop on any new idea thrown her way unless it was from me.  One of them was that she should date more men before she settles down with one (me).

[waitaminute]

A good salesman does a certain amount of mirroring. My limited observations say that BPDs are vulnerable to this type of manipulation.

[hithere]

He is probably close to this annoying guy just to get back at you.

Maybe low functioning BPD's are easily manipulated, my high-functioning ex was very suspicious of everyone.

[nolisan]

I was sometimes amazed at how easily I could get her to suddenly change her mind by just talking to her using my best NVC skills. Suddenly I would go from Black to White - just a quickly as the other way.

I felt some shame at how easily I could do this. It did't always happen. I finally I stopped because I knew in my heart the r/s wasn't good - for either of us.

It was like she was a three year old F2F. She would often bolt when a tough subject came up and go home to send me an email. Communication difficulty was at the bottom of why the r/s would never work

[GreenMango]

Yes... .  unfortunately identity disturbance and lack of self-direction can make a person super impressionable, easily swayed or manipulated.

I can't tell you how many times I would shake my head and listen to the stories of how mine almost got lead down the path of giving away money, bullied, or taken for a ride by some more predatory type of person (serious stuff too-ethical compromises, etc)... .  and not even realize it or think other "non-threatening" people were threatening/manipulative.  Truly poor people skills and the ability to understand and relate to others was very problematic.

[broken but not beaten]

I believe they can be manipulated by those whom the idealize,my uBPDxgf takes onboard everything her 'friend' tells her,last result was me being discarded and devalued. I thinks during my time of being idealized she would have done almost anything she perceived to make me happy so yes I think they can be manipulated as long as they are getting something from the other person

[Mike_confused]

all:

my uBPD wife can also be easily manipulated by anyone she idealizes.  Presently, this includes the folks in her Church's Recovery Support Group... .  she has swung far right born-again.  I have no problem with the Evangelical denominations, but now she has become extreme.

Also, I saw it said above:  my uBPD wife will also hop on any new idea coming her way, unless that idea cam from me.   I could say it was hot on the 4th of July and she would tell me it was snowing... .  only to me though. 

I don't need that. Separated 5 weeks now from her.  I have not seen her.   Barely text, and have not spoken on the phone in over a week.