Thanks for all the replies, support and advice... . together 22 yrs and have been in business together for 11 yrs. We started our business together when our kiddos were little so I could be available for them and I honestly thought that it would show H that I really do love him and am supportive of him... . I knew he had "issues" and like so many here I thought I could eventually love him out of those issues. I was really naive!
It is, at times, incredibly challenging to work w H - some days I want to wrap him in duct tape and shove him in a closet (jk-
). It helps that our DS20 works with us also and most of the people who work for us have worked for us for a long time because they understand he is "high conflict" and is "high drama."
I am involved in preschool ministry at my church, I run (and will be running my first half marathon next month - whoop!). I found a free online college program that I am taking classes through (no college credit- certificate of achievement only). I am also active w my kids.
I know to expect the drama and uncontrolled emotions at times like these, but it really never gets easier to tolerate.
There is an old Tom and Jerry cartoon where they are at a carnival and Tom is chasing Jerry and Jerry ends up behind a duck in a midway target/shooting game. Tom grabs the cork gun and starts shooting at the moving duck and each time he hits the duck, the duck flips around and goes the other way and Tom hits the duck more and more frequently and each time the duck travels a shorter distance before he flips to go the other way. Eventually the duck is just spinning and Jerry falls off, dizzy and confused. I feel like Jerry during these episodes... . but Jerry does eventually jump up and run off and Tom doesn't catch him so that I guess that is the take away- get up and keep going!