That's funny! I joined a UU church too after leaving N/BPDxh. I really needed to connect with a caring, understanding, community, and N/BPDxh drilled atheism into S11's head,
My ex was a rabid atheist too. I truly think it is because she cannot accept any Higher Power other than Herself.
so we needed somewhere that S11 could be what he was, and people would accept him. It's been wonderful.
The UU church is great for people in various kinds of recovery and it's no coincidence that many recovery and support groups meet at the church. There are more people in need of counseling than the pastor can provide, so there is a lay committee to provide emotional support to members.
I've been enjoying other things you've posted on different threads, so thanks for coming back to share how things are going for you now. I do think there is potential (at least for me) to get a bit neurotic about healing,
Truthfully, it's hard to visit here and read all the posts from people living in BPD hell so soon after making my escape. It's two years and I still have to deal with the ex in divorce court and we are cooperating to sell the house. No picnic, I assure you!
so I'm very consciously just letting things go day by day with my new guy, trying to not over think. Enjoy each other's company, watch my boundaries, and be open to the possibility of falling in love again (thousands of dollars in therapy later).
As I mentioned in another thread, I got shooed away from therapy because I am too normal. I guess I never bought in to whatever disorder my wife was trying to sell me on.
27 years is a long time to be beaten down. For me it was 10, and I felt like a trauma survivor after only a decade.
The full BPD symptoms only lasted 14 years or so. Now she only has a character disorder. Not that that's all that much better, really.
New guy was married for 20 years to someone who suffered from depression, and then an affair. I can relate to what you say about the joy of reciprocating. And what a pleasure to be with someone who doesn't have weird and scary emotional reactions to things.
I'm glad to hear you say that your son is close to your gf. How old is he? Mine is 11, and I while I worry that he hasn't had a good male role model in his life, I don't plan to introduce new guy and S11 for a long time. Eventually, it would be great to find out that they got along.
My son is 24. I think it would be easier for him if he had someone in his life right now. He has trouble with the concept that of his old fat ugly father landing a woman whereas a young and handsome and successful guy like himself is alone.
You should bring your bf around the UU church so your son could get to know him as part of the church family first.
