I have other posts on this site. Oh my God, I am not sure what brought me to this realization but I know fully understand that my 1st wife was/IS uBPD also. Currently separated from second uBPD wife. I never realized the first was. Oh my Lord what is wrong with me?
I can't even give all the details now since I am almost speechless.
Well, 2 marriages w/ BPD traits - my thought is you want to look at your family dynamics... .
My "aha" was - OMG, "I married my mother"... . different version, but same results.