1. When there was no progress despite everything else that had been tried.
2. When therapists were saying it was time.
3. When behaviors were constant over a period of time and then worsening.
4. When we couldn't keep her safe, despite numerous interventions.
5. When school failure continued despite ability, multiple interventions, school changes
6. When she was at risk, despite multiple interventions
7. When the family was being subjected to risk.
Being Mindful
I highlighted in bold the reasons we had for going to the RTC/TBS. Here are a few more:
The next school year she would go to the High School... . risk increasing due to exposure to kids 3 years older than her, less structure in the school environment, access to friends with cars, drugs (and all the other wonderful things that High School brings )
I did not wait for her t or pdoc to tell me it was time... . I knew it was time.
I was scared... . scared it wouldn't work and she would get worse from being "abandoned", scared that we would spend all our savings and not have the opportunity to get further help for her, scared she would get worse there ... . picking up "new ways to destroy her life" from the other kids in RTC/TBS.
Remedy for my fear?... . Knowledge, prayers and Faith. I made RTC/TBS research a full time job for 2 months. I left no stone unturned or reference uncalled. I was purposeful, methodical and honest. I listened to my instincts and knowledge about my daughter because I knew her best... . what would work for her. I developed a criteria to weed out all the 100's that didn't fit or there was no way we could afford to keep her in long enough to make lasting changes. I relied on God to speak to my heart and guide me. I did not let location determine whether a place was "in" or "out"... . finances did at times and that is just the reality of life.
If you believe that you are giving up on her then I would suggest you look at the level of committment you will be required to put into her treatment as a parent. In the midst of my d's RTC/TBS experience a typical week was:
1 hour therapy over the phone w/d and individual t
1 hour therapy over the phone w/d and PPC group leader
15 min. weekly call from d
nightly emailing between d and us
1-2 calls between myself and individual t 30 min-hour each
bi weekly calls to case manager to check on her well being
hours spent reading the same books my d was reading
Quarterly
Parent weekends w/training, meeting w/residential, equine, educational director and family therapy, group family PPC, off campus time/off campus overnight/off campus weekend/home visit
The leading factor in recovery, according to experts on BPD, is strong family support.
I asked my d on the drive home this evening if she thought we sent her to Falcon Ridge at the right time... . she said "yes". I asked her if she understood why she needed to go when she went ... . she said "because nothing else was working to change me". I asked her why it took going to Falcon Ridge for her to make that change... . she said "I needed the structure and constant support of the staff and my peers (PPC) to get through to me." We are a few weeks shy of her 2 year anniversary of her graduation from the program. She earned it and continues to do very well. I have my d back! We have a good relationship built on respect, trust, and love.
I shudder to think how our lives would be today without the RTC/TBS experience.
When all the arrangements were made and the plan set in stone I experienced a peace I had not had in many many years.
Treatment: A Case History in Residential Treatment 
