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Complete and Unabridged Definitions of Borderline, Narcissistic, Antisocial, and Oppositional Defiant Personality Disorder. The only unabridged DSM 5 definitions published on the Internet.
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Author Topic: Residential Treatment: Journal of 12 Month Journey  (Read 34981 times)
lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« on: May 27, 2010, 09:30:02 AM »

Falcon Ridge Ranch Month 1: BPD d13 going into residential treatment

 I spent March and April researching residential treatment center's and boarding schools for BPDd-13 finally narrowing it down to 2 in Utah that are 20 minutes apart.  My mom and I flew up and visited both the first of May and I chose Falcon Ridge Ranch in Virgin Utah.  The staff is mature, patient, thorough, experienced, gentle yet strong and very capable for helping my BPDd-13.  The main type of therapy is equine and DBT is mixed throughout the program.  Positive Peer Culture is their accountability tool and carries a great deal of weight with teens.  I believe that God has guided my decision and this is the right place at the right time for my BPDd-13.

In the last 6 weeks she has been pretty good at home (no rages). She is still defiant (ODD) and isolates herself to be online in her fantasy relationships w/boys (BPD) and sleeps way too much (MDD). However, her behavior at school is over the top!  She has been in "in school suspension" 4 times in the last 6 weeks - twice for punching 2 different students in the face and twice for leaving the school grounds.  One of those times she was caught by the police in an abandoned house w/ 5 other students.  Apparently there was no sexual activity going on as the police listened outside before entering and also did a drug search (none were found but I had her drug tested anyway and she passed).  She also was given a warning on another occasion for being disrespectful to a teacher and the Vice Principal.

This entire process of acting out behaviors at school has been left (by me) for them to deal with.  I have not engaged in punishment at home. I don't need the stress nor does my BPDd-13 need me to step in and become part of the process. It is between her and the school and if I don't get involved, BPDd-13 must focus on herself and not how I am the cause of her problems.  I guess her "bad" behaviors had to come out somewhere since she was controlling herself at home  ;p .

The search and decision process for the residential treatment center was hard but it could have been easier if I had some support from my husband.  He has been struggling to come to terms w/this decision all the while knowing it is for our precious daughters's sake that we do it.  I see it as a wonderful gift and opportunity to give her the help she truly needs.  I pray that she will take full advantage of this and come away with a sense of her authentic self and healthy life goals w/the knowledge that she has within her power the ability to soar on strong wings with a family who will not do it for her but will be a source of encouragement and belief in her abilities.  The 24/7 therapeutic environment will eventually wear her down and put her in the position of self reflection and recognizing personal responsibility.  I think that she will be there at least 9 months, maybe a year.  at $7300 per month it is a huge sacrifice for us and most likely a one time gift from us to her.

We have not told her yet that she is going.  I plan to tell her on Saturday, the last day of school is Friday (tomorrow).  The plan is to fly to Vegas on Tuesday June 1st,  spend the night there, have a good time, (stepdaughter(21) is coming too) and then on Wednesday pick up the rental car and drive her up to the residential treatment center (2hour drive), then husband, stepdaughter(21) and I will leave my precious child in the hands of strangers and drive back to Vegas, stay another night and then fly home to deal w/the aftermath of our decisions. If BPDd-13 refuses to go to the residential treatment center and participate in this plan our other option is a transport service; strangers showing up in the middle of the night and taking her (restrained if necessary) to the residential treatment center.  Please keep my family and mostly my BPDd-13 and the staff at Falcon Ridge in your prayers.

lbjnltx


 

*Dec. 21, 2012  If you have read this far...thank you.  It will take an investment of your time to read about the complete journey.  If you are considering RTC for someone you love please make that investment.  Choosing a program that is focused on the family  is of the utmost importance as I believe it is the key to recovery.  It has been almost 2 years since my daughter graduated from Falcon Ridge Ranch RTC.  She continues to do very well and we continue to be amazed.  

BPD d13 in residential treatment center «

Month 1

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Month 5  

Month 6  

Month 7

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 BPDd-13 Residential Treatment - keep believing in miracles
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
pennifree
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My candle burns in hope of recovery....


« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2010, 10:09:15 AM »

dear lbjnltx,


The following are not my own words, but they convey the sentiment which I hope will be helpful to you right now.

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

It's a tough decision to entrust your child's welfare to another place, especially a place that is far from home.  I hope that you will rest easy in your decision knowing that you have done the best any parent could to find the proper help for her child.  I hope that your precious D will settle down quickly in her new setting and absorb all she can, like a little sponge, so that she can recover and enjoy a long and healthy life.  I hope that your DH will soon see the benefit of this sacrifice so that he too can be comfortable in the knowledge that this is the best hope for recovery.

Thank you for all you've done for me.  I hope in some small way I may return the favor of a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.

Take care,

pennifree     
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"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present and that is why it is called a gift."
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« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2010, 01:38:29 PM »

lbj, may things go well for you and your family this weekend and on into next week. My thoughts and prayers go with you all.

WIth lots of love

 

Ingrid
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lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2010, 02:21:09 PM »

I will keep you all posted on how things go when we tell our BPDd-13 that we have found a place for her to go.  

She has repeatedly told us "I would rather live anywhere than here".  Just proves that old adage "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it".  I anticipate an excited "really!" reply initially and then the questions will come.  I will follow my heart and be true to myself in my honest reply.  I will answer specific questions w/specific answers all the while knowing that the details could derail the whole process -- things like you don't need to pack  your clothes because I have already sent all needed items ahead (she doesn't get to choose what she wears) and I hope she doesn't ask how long she will have to stay because all I am prepared to say is "that depends on you".  I could honestly call it a therapeutic boarding school except that she is so looking forward to not going to school for the summer that if she discovers they have year round school the FBI might not even be able to drag her up there!

As with all fears it is the "unknown" that scares me the most.  That's when I start playing the "what's the worst thing that can happen" game with myself.  The worst case scenarios really aren't that bad and I know I can handle it if I must.  For some odd reason this helps my anxiety.  If the worst case scenarios don't scare me, then what's there really to be afraid of?

lbjnltx
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Matt
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« Reply #4 on: May 28, 2010, 12:00:36 AM »

LBJ,

This sounds very encouraging.  You showed your love by working hard to find the best place, and the money isn't just money either - its your and your husband's hard work and sacrifice going for what you believe is best for your daughter.  My hat's off to you both!

When and how will you tell your daughter about this?

What conditions will you place for her to come home?

Best wishes,

Matt
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Thursday
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« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2010, 06:52:14 AM »

lbjnltx,

If I put myself in your shoes for a moment,

must be heartbreaking

must be scary

must feel like your finances will be hanging on a thread

must be sad

must be frustrating, especially in light of how thourougly you have educated yourself to help her

must be confusing,devastating, overwhelming

and I also imagine the hope you must feel.

With my SD, I know what pains her, what has led her to this place. True that we don't make much headway, even knowing what pains her...still, there are no mysteries here.

I hope the residential treatment center helps in the big way you are shooting for. What we found after sending my SD to SUWS (theraputic wilderness camp) was that it gave her some small tools, gave us some seperation (we needed that big time), took her out of her comfort zone so that she had a chance to do some work on herself and so she would finally have a chance to see how that felt...but 9 weeks wasn't enough time to get my SD to a point where she really understands how to take charge of herself, wasn't enough time for her to figure out that her Mom couldn't help what happened to her and that SD isn't to blame... I am hoping for you that the duration you are facing will be sufficient and will help your daughter. At 13, there is such a real possibility that things can turn around for her and your family.

Here is to a brighter tomorrow

And I truly hope that she will accept your decision to place her and that you and your family will be spared the drama if she won't go willingly.

thursday
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lbjnltx
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« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2010, 09:58:18 AM »

The plan is to tell her Saturday when her half brother and sis are here w/us.  The people she is closest too will all be here to support this decision as well as lend her comfort/companionship.

The determining factor on getting to come home will be made between the residential treatment center staff and husband and i.  I know that when she is making real progress the residential treatment center will give us the heads up that she will be ready to come home in 90 days.  That gives my BPDd-13 another 3 months to solidify what she has learned about herself, skills, and new ways to think about her world.  She will transition during that 90 days to a less controlled atmosphere at the residential treatment center and will be given more responsibilities and freedoms to see how she handles them all the while having   the continued therapy, feedback, and support of the staff.

lbjnltx
« Last Edit: March 01, 2015, 03:54:43 PM by lbjnltx » Logged

 BPDd-13 Residential Treatment - keep believing in miracles
lbjnltx
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« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2010, 10:04:41 AM »

Dear thursday, you got it all right!  

As far as a wilderness program goes, when I tt her psychiatrist about residential treatment centers he told me "don't mortgage the farm for a 90 day program".  I got the message and thought it through carefully.  I can see the intrinsic value of a behavior modification program yet I view it as a bandaid on something that needs major surgery!  Too little, won't have a lasting affect, essentially $ waisted...at least in our situation.

Thanks for your support and well wishes.

lbjnltx
« Last Edit: March 01, 2015, 03:55:56 PM by lbjnltx » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2010, 11:10:45 AM »

Wow, it sounds like you have thought this through really well!

Best,

Matt
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lbjnltx
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« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2010, 01:21:35 PM »

Yes Matt,

That's me think think think.  Problem:  I have to shut down my emotions sometimes to be able to think clearly.  I am trying really hard to be "wise" minded (logic and emotions mixed together).  

lbjnltx
« Last Edit: March 01, 2015, 03:56:55 PM by lbjnltx » Logged

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