Deja vu... better response these days

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have a few exBFs whom I've reconnected with on FB.  All of them were guys who treated me decently, didn't cheat or lie etc., and whom I either broke up with or "drove away" with my co-dependent neediness (I can recognize that aspect of it now.) 

One of them whom I don't really talk with all that much recently had a breakup (I didn't find out about it until today... .  it happened about 3 days ago.  I saw the "I'm going in to the doc in a box to get my heart checked out" on my feed and when   and then learned about it. 

I flipped out a bit as all my deja-vu switches got flipped.

He first posted a cryptic note that "Tragedy happened tonight and it's best that I stay away from the world for a while" and said he would be deleting friends.

Next post was a picture of the words "Pathetic Fool" written in blood on the bathroom from his cutting incident.  Good Lord... .  

Then he thought he had a heart attack while talking with friends.  He read up about something that has been described as the "broken heart heart attack" as it comes on after acute long-term stress, a breakup, the loss of a loved one, etc.--an emotional heart attack. 

So he went in to the "doc in a box" and I posted something encouraging.  He said something later about how the doc was amazed that he "walked in--and walked out."  I am thinking "Oh, he's leaving under his own power," and he got a bit testy with me and said he walked out without getting treatment, because this sort of heart attack was God saying ":)on't bother to commit suicide, I'm going to help you die first." 

I took one step more than I should have, explained my misunderstanding, and told him I'd be keeping him in my prayers.  One more cryptic comment, and then just sending him caring thoughts.

I am SO not going to get involved in this.  It was like... .  preprogrammed wanting to help, but not really wanting to.  The intensity of it scared me, and I barely know this guy now.  But it was interesting to watch my response, like it was automatic, and then realizing what was going on and choosing to pull back.

Good practice for the future, I think.  I hope next time I'll recognize it sooner.  Truly, there was no need for me to say anything, but I did... .  lesson learned.  Two steps forward, only one step back this time. 

[Changed4safety]

I have a few exBFs whom I've reconnected with on FB.  All of them were guys who treated me decently, didn't cheat or lie etc., and whom I either broke up with or "drove away" with my co-dependent neediness (I can recognize that aspect of it now.) 

One of them whom I don't really talk with all that much recently had a breakup (I didn't find out about it until today... .  it happened about 3 days ago.  I saw the "I'm going in to the doc in a box to get my heart checked out" on my feed and when   and then learned about it. 

I flipped out a bit as all my deja-vu switches got flipped.

He first posted a cryptic note that "Tragedy happened tonight and it's best that I stay away from the world for a while" and said he would be deleting friends.

Next post was a picture of the words "Pathetic Fool" written in blood on the bathroom from his cutting incident.  Good Lord... .  

Then he thought he had a heart attack while talking with friends.  He read up about something that has been described as the "broken heart heart attack" as it comes on after acute long-term stress, a breakup, the loss of a loved one, etc.--an emotional heart attack. 

So he went in to the "doc in a box" and I posted something encouraging.  He said something later about how the doc was amazed that he "walked in--and walked out."  I am thinking "Oh, he's leaving under his own power," and he got a bit testy with me and said he walked out without getting treatment, because this sort of heart attack was God saying ":)on't bother to commit suicide, I'm going to help you die first." 

I took one step more than I should have, explained my misunderstanding, and told him I'd be keeping him in my prayers.  One more cryptic comment, and then just sending him caring thoughts.

I am SO not going to get involved in this.  It was like... .  preprogrammed wanting to help, but not really wanting to.  The intensity of it scared me, and I barely know this guy now.  But it was interesting to watch my response, like it was automatic, and then realizing what was going on and choosing to pull back.

Good practice for the future, I think.  I hope next time I'll recognize it sooner.  Truly, there was no need for me to say anything, but I did... .  lesson learned.  Two steps forward, only one step back this time.