Being Hopeful

[griz]

Today is DD's 18 birthday.  I just went into her room to give her a big birthday hug and kiss.  She was sitting on her bed doing art work and her room was immaculate and organized.  I had a very difficult week for reasons other than DD so I actually feel asleep at 7pm and slept through the night.  DD spent the night cleaning her room.  So we actually made it to the P a week and a half ago and as I mentioned he thinks that DD is bipolar.  He gave her Depakote and she promised to go back to therapy.  I called her old DBT therapist and she is set to begin on Thursday.  She hasn't started the meds yet because she is very fearful of the side effects.  I am not pushing it just yet... .  one thing at a time.  Anyway, over the past week I have noticed a change in DD. She has spent alot of time researching  bipolar on the internet and asked me to take her to the book store to see if she could find some books on managing her mood swings.  I suggested to her that we wait until she sees the T and that maybe she has good suggestions for books.  She also has been very open talking to me about her moods.  She had a good week and then Thurs on her way home from school with me she told me that the previous night she could feel her mood changing to sad and angry and that she was feeling sad and angry all day.  We talked about how she was feeling and she told me that she actually was glad that the Dr. thinks she is BP because it gives validity to her feelings.  She said she was expecting her period in a few days and that she always gets so angry when her mood changes at this time and everyone tells her it is because she is getting her period.  As if what she was feeling wasn't real.  So we talked alot about her feelings and I told her I was sorry if I invalidated her feelings sometimes and that we could work on this together.  We could learn together.

I am feeling cautiously hopeful that she is ready to make some changes in her life and participate in recovery or getting better.

So today is her birthday.  I didn't think she would make it to 18.  I am so thankful.  This life is hard for all of us, but we are all here.  Thank you all so very much.  You have all become my friends and family.  You have helped me and DD get through some horrible times.  Tonight we are having a little celebration and I will raise my glass to all of you and have a drink of wine for each of you as if you were here... .  because you really are.

Griz

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello griz!

Congrats to you and your d... .  getting her to adulthood is a milestone to celebrate.

You may or may not be aware, that dbt skills are used to help pwBi polar regulate their emotions... .  I believe there is a dbt skills book for teens w/bi polar disorder.  I hope that this would be validating to you and your d that she is/has done work to help herself.

A toast to you and your dd18!  Cheers!  Well done dears.

 

lbj

[twojaybirds]

Congrats griz.     My dd is 19 today.  We managed a dinner at 10 pm at her favorite restaurant with a friend.   Shorter is sweeter I have learned.

My dd went to 2 p sessions last march before going AWOL.   I continued with him till last month.   He does think my dd is BPD.  With something else. Probably bipolar rapid cycling or hypo-mania.  So many of these overlap in different ways some with fine differences.

It is great that your dd is interested in her self care right now. 

Happy birthing day to you!

[sunshineplease]

Did my heart good to read your post, griz. Wow. 18! Glad you are celebrating!

[MammaMia]

Griz

it sounds as if DD is looking to understand and accept her illness.  That is an AWESOME birthday gift for both of you!

Congratulations.

[griz]

Hi All:  Just needed to check in with some friends.  DD's apt with therapist in on Thursday.  I am praying that she will not change her mind and decide not to go, however this morning on the way to work/school we were listening to the weather report and they were talking snow.  DD said, "Oh I hope it doesn't snow to bad, I have therapy on Thursday".  This seemed like a good sign.  We have not started the Depakote as of yet.  I know she is very fearful of starting it with all of the possible side effects so I am laying off talking about it now and hoping that she can address her concerns with the T.  Well that's where we are right now.  I am feeling extremely anxious.

Griz

[qcarolr]

Griz - it is so hard to clear our minds of these worries. Do you have an imagery that can help these thoughts float away? I like to put mine a leaf in a clear brook and watch them ride the ripples away. Of course, the other leaves are just upstream. Keep on breathing.

Mindfulness.

qcr  

[twojaybirds]

take a shower and imagine washing off all you worries then watch them go down the drain.

[Reality]

griz,

My Jungian therapist was relating how anxiety is our psyche talking to us.  I wonder if relatives of pwBPD have storerooms of anxiety built up in their psyches, so that even when life is humming along fairly well, the anxiety just keeps expressing.

I used to feel like there were drugs/sugar running through my body non-stop when my son was alive.  I guess non-stop adrenalin. 

Breathe in deeply and then breathe out, pushing the breath towards the ground.  Somehow, breathing out downwards helps.  At least, it helps me.

Your daughter is doing better.  You are changing your life and hers with your boundary-setting.  So good... .  

Reality