I thought it was me.

[vareeta]

I'm the 22 year old daughter of uBPD mother. The family dynamic is a blessing and a curse. My mentally well father passed away when I was 11 years old. I recognize now that because of his standing up for the truth so consistently, I developed a secure attachment style to that point which is now serving me a great deal. I recently discovered BPD after spending years trying to fix me. My (28 yo) brother and I were split by her - I'm the bad child and he was conditioned to consider dad abusive and thus does not have the foundation and resiliency that I do. I'm NC with both now (attempted about a month ago but harrassment from mom ensued). There's so much that I'm making sense of now, free of the hell. I was deeply dissociative and the bottled stress was resulting in physical ails. I'm healing and taking care of me now. I know I have a long road ahead.

[livednlearned]

Hi vareeta,



Glad you found us! It sounds like you're having a huge breakthrough, understanding your family dynamics and how it shaped you. How fortunate that you had a stable, grounded father during those important early years. Are you seeing a therapist who understands BPD? It's wonderful that you're taking care of yourself. What sorts of things are you doing?

Keep posting, and let us know how you're doing. This is a wonderful site with many caring members, and lots of helpful resources. It can be a great place to share experiences and heal.



LnL