He gave me fair warning -Now completely dysregulated

[Depression = 72% of members]

One of the biggest struggles I have is that I "forget" I am dealing with a disorder.  He is so high-functioning and pulls it together in front of everyone that I feel fooled/lulled into him pulling himself out of the dysregulation. 

He seems smart and together when he is dealing with others.

He dysregulates quickly with me.  He wants to dump all his pain on me.  That is becoming clearer for me to see.  I am so tired.

[coworkerfriend]

One of the biggest struggles I have is that I "forget" I am dealing with a disorder.  He is so high-functioning and pulls it together in front of everyone that I feel fooled/lulled into him pulling himself out of the dysregulation. 

He seems smart and together when he is dealing with others.

He dysregulates quickly with me.  He wants to dump all his pain on me.  That is becoming clearer for me to see.  I am so tired.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Grey Kitty]

He dysregulates quickly with me.  He wants to dump all his pain on me.  That is becoming clearer for me to see.  I am so tired.

Remember that it doesn't help him either when you let him dump all his pain on you.

It is one of those tough-love situations--it will make him feel a little better in the short term, but it just allows things to spiral more out of control in the long term if you let him get away with this.

Plus it hurts you too. That's why you are so tired. 

[coworkerfriend]

I have made such a mess of this whole thing.  He is out of control. 

We own a company and have work to do.  He does not want us to succeed.  He is blaming me for everything.

He put is coat on to walk out.  I left first.  I came back and he is still here.

Everything has spiraled out of control.  I am hurt. I am tired. I am lost.

[coworkerfriend]

What is wrong with me? 

I put my coat on to leave.  He demanded to know where I was going.  I refused to tell him.  He pushed my triggers -said horrible things and backed down and I did not leave.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so afraid?

Why do I let him control me?