what is wrong with me?

[screwedovr]

I've been divorced from my exBPDw for six months,  I've had plenty of time to start moving on.  After spending 11 years with a woman that showed hardly any emotion or passion towards me, I find myself litterally scared to get back out there.  I wouldnt know how to act with a woman that had her own personality, and God forbid she actually came on to me.  I've been so starved for affection for so long the idea of it scares the hell out of me! Anyone else go through anything like this?

[arabella]

It's basically relationship PTSD. Have you had any therapy to help you deal with the fallout from your marriage? 11 years is a long time, 6 months is really very short in comparison... .  What sort of support are you receiving to help you recover?

[screwedovr]

Yea, I've been going to therapy for awhile.  Maybe it's just that the dating seen seems to have changed.  Still amazing how she could move on so quickly after 11 years! God I hope karma is real!Ha Ha

[elessar]

karma is all i pray for too... .  

[arabella]

meh. Karma already got them - they're cursed with BPD! Seriously, BPD sounds like a complete nightmare, a living hell for the person who suffers from it.

Maybe try looking at the dating scene as finding a friend first. Then add benefits! Less pressure that way. But yeah, I hear you, it's hard to out yourself out there!

[tailspin]

screwedovr 

I think we've all been there to some extent.  Being scared is normal and I don't think there's anything wrong with you.   You will find tons of support on the L4 board about building healthy relationships and dating.  There are lessons designed to help navigate the waters again and will help you get your confidence back.  One thing I've learned is to not put a timeline on where we *should be* at any particular time because healing doesn't necessarily follow a linear pattern.

tailspin

[charred]

Its not just you... .  I was married 22 yrs, and then stupidly divorced to be with my pwBPD... and then that fiasco ended... leaving me with 25 years since I last was trying to meet and date gals. Its intimidating to say the least. Tried online sites, found that 99% of the troglodites were attracted to me, and none of the attractive gals. Hope the other boards have good info, I too need a bit of help. (Have a T, and have started getting some PTSD treatment... the pwBPD did a number.)

[screwedovr]

I know everyone says BPD is a terrible thing to live with, but why the hell do they always seem to just slide through life. She through me away like a used kleenex, now my kids are living with her and not getting the affection that i always gave them.  I hope she hurries up and goes bankrupt so my kiddos can start living with me