the clues keep adding up

[healingmyheart]

I've been doing a lot of retrospective thinking as I try to digest everything post breakup.  I know looking back, there were clues that I decided to ignore.  Well, the rages of course was a huge one.  The controlling, the jealousy issues, need to know where I was at all times.  He was even very OCD and was constantly straightening and organizing things... .  kinda drove me crazy.  He said he had a very high pain tolerance but little things like a little cut on his finger would virtually make him cry in pain... .  I've read there that can be true with BPD.  The constant texting... .  we must of texted at least 50 times a day... .  the hypersexuality... .  passive/aggressive personality... .  of course the lies and deceit which came a little later in the relationship.  When you itemize them all and really look at everything, how could you want to go back?

Another clue I see now of course is looking at his past failed relationships.  His marriage failed because he got caught having an affair.  Moved on and had an affair with a married women... .  a few years later he devalued her and had an affair with another married women online.  I was introduced to him through a mutual friend(who happened to be the first married women he had the affair with) and two years later, he has several emotional affairs while with me.  And this is a man who considers himself to be highly religious.  He says I should go to church with him and forgive him for his sins... .  

[Surnia]

It could be interesting to explore a little bit more, what makes you to ignore this signs, red flags!

Some have hope love will heal all problems, other does not recognize the danger in some behaviors... .  what is it for you?