Daughter feels spirits around her

[cleanandsober]

Has anyone else's children experienced spirits, ghosts, demons, etc.  I know this is a "weird" topic, but our daughter has had this issue for many years and it disturbs her sleep and she gets paranoid.  I realize depression can cause hallucinations and dellusions and some professionals say this is rare.  My daughter is very sensitive to her environment, like most of these kids are.  I saw a ghost when I was a child so I am a believer.  I was also paranoid and felt spirits when I was growing up in my parents house.  I guess I am having trouble figuring out if this is internal or external. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

A few months ago my daughter came into our room late one night and she was very fightened and shaking... .  she was terriffied and it took me a long time to get her to calm down. I thought she might have had a nightmare and woke up but she really thought there was something in her room. This has not happened very often but it scared the crap out of us for sure!

I thought it might have been a reaction to new drugs she had started but her doctor didn't think so... .  she like to watch scary movies too so I don't think that helps... .  she has always had a lot of dreams... .  

If this is something that happens often I might be concerned... .  is she on new meds? My daughter has a real interest in this kind of thing too... .  so I think her imagination gets the best of her at times... .  

[lbjnltx]

At 13 my d told us that she was hearing voices and seeing things out of the corner of her eye.  While in RTC she told us that she thought our house was haunted/had negative energy.

It wouldn't suprise me if the house did have negative energy (at one time she tried to put a Satanic curse on me).  Instead of arguing with her reality we worked to help relieve her fears.  We agreed that when she came home we would do cleansing prayers, pray for protection and burn sage... .  that is what we did.  We also (with the help of her t at rtc) decided to work very hard to replace the empty space (where the negative energy used to be) with positive energy.

[MammaMia]

Children, especially young children, are very open and sensitive to paranormal experiences.  They have not yet learned to doubt and spirits seem to know this.   If you suspect your child is a sensitive, check into it.   It may not be their imagination running wild or them seeking attention.

You may have a little one with an exceptional ability, which often runs in families.  

My daughter as an adult and my grandson have both had documented experiences.   It can be a real gift, but they need to be taught how to deal with it and how to control it so it is not frightening.  

There are many things in this world we do not understand.  That does not mean they are not real.

Check out Indigo children online.

[vivekananda]

regardless of whether it is real or not, she feels it to be so (as you do yourself), so the good advice seems to be to attend to 'cleansing' ceremonies and creating positive energy. Surely that has to be good for all of us eh?

It doesn't matter whether it is real, does it?

cheers,

Vivek    

[MammaMia]

Vive and cleanandsober -

It matters very much whether it is real or not. 

The cleansings and creation of positive energy are a good start, but may not be the complete answer.

There is a family history here and the child has had experiences for years.  People who are sensitive should not be treated as if they are mentally ill.  It is not something to make light of.   

[Thursday]

cleanandsober,

I'm hoping you can talk with your dd and ask her questions so that you can get the best idea if this is delusional or extra-sensitive. One needs treatment to keep it from taking over her life, the other needs nurturing and guidance to allow it to find its proper place.

Since you yourself have had a few experiences that sound extra-sensitive I think you are the perfect person to get a sense of this. Remember to be validating, I can't think of a better situation to practice these skills.

Does she know you have had the experiences you describe? That might be a good opening subject if you decide to go in this direction.

Good luck sweetie!

Thursday

[cleanandsober]

Thank you everyone for your responses.  My daughter is almost 16.  She was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6.  She is not on any prescription meds at the present time,  but over the years has taken quite a few, including anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, as well as meds for ADHD.  We give her Melatonin as needed for sleep.  She suffers great side effects from meds which leads me to believe they are not the right thing for her.   

I want to find out more info on cleansing ceremonies.  Yes, she does know about my past experiences and I told her that I believe her.  I looked up Indigo children and it looks very interesting!  Especially the part about ADHD and sleep disturbances.  However, when I showed this to my daughter she was doubtful. 

I recently told her therapist about her experiences, even though my daughter is embarrassed about it.  All the doctors do is prescribe anti-psychotics.  Sometimes I feel we just go around in circles.  We are making progress however.  She is in a therapeutic school, which she likes so far.  It's better for her than the public high school.  Thanks everyone for sharing!   

[MammaMia]

cleanandsober

At least the subject is now out in the open.  :)id you by chance take the online quiz for parents who suspect their child may be an Indigo Child?  It is normal for them to deny and/or not choose to pursue their gift.  They HATE feeling as if they are different from others and usually minimize what is happening out of fear of being ridiculed... .  very understandable, especially in the teenage years.

Unfortunately, many therapists believe the answer to everything is more medication.  Not true.

Good luck to you and your daughter.  She may indeed be a very special young lady.

[Reality]

I ad never herd of the term indigo children before.  I did a litte research and the description fits my son to a t.  So interesting. 

Reality

[oglobaith]

I hope this is permissible, but I'd like to just add a note of caution here in this discussion.  I do believe in spirits, but believe the Bible to be the Word of God and we find guidance in there as to the supernatural. It is a realm which is taken advantage of by the one whom the Bible calls the 'Enemy of our Souls' and he can and often does appear as an angel of light. Any delving into the realm of spirits is cautioned against very strongly and can cause much damage as my experience as a volunteer team member with Ellel ministries has verified. Anything which causes fear is from the Evil one essentially, and you're right they do know that children are more 'open' and often prey on the young. Please take care.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MammaMia]

oglobaith

Yes, I agree, one needs to proceed with caution, being very careful not to open doors that should remain closed via Ouija Boards, Satanic rituals, witchcraft, etc.  NEVER invite evil into your life.

However, a natural fear of good spirits can also be caused by a lack of knowledge and understanding. That is why professional guidance and advice is necessary.  

[qcarolr]

Reflecting all day whether to put my 2 cents on the thread. There is mystery in our world plus we are given the drive to try and figure it all out. Over very long period of time has led to much thinking, writing, drawing, from many differnent cultural and spiritual directions. I too believe that God is our Maker, the creator of heaven and earth. And I also believe in the knowledge gained with rational science including evolution of humankind. And we are still evolving according to the Plan. Our bodies are the greatest gift, and science is discovering more and more ways to interpret and 'read' what is going on inside. Of greatest interest to me is the brain and related structures in our central nervous systems (CNS). And I see a fit between this knowledge and my faith.

And I defintely see the patterns of blockages, lack of cohesion and functioning among all the various systems inside the CNS as creating so much of the illness in our interior and exterior connections in life. And there are definitely interconnections between each of us and other forces in our world. Some of us are more sensitive (tuned recievers as my DH puts it in his electronic, hands on way of relating to the world) than others.

If our sensitivity puts us in a place of fear, it triggers our CNS to engage the gut responses of "fight/flight or freeze". And then we are blocked from thinking, which allows us to manage all the overwhelming emotions, often below our awake conscioius level.

So whatever methods work to bring us into safety, relieve our fears, open us up to "thinking with our feelings and feeling with our thinking" is very very valuable. We each have to look to our community for this support - family, friends, professionals, faith... .  for mindfulness.

Cleanandsober - what are the ways you can support your D in feeling safe with her sensitivities? It is so good that she can share this with you. How can you feel safe in sharing youself with her - your common ground - what has helped you... .  ?

qcr  

[MammaMia]

I believe deeply in God and the teachings of the Bible, and I am convinced Good and Evil forces affect our lives. 

There are many things we do not yet understand and spirits and angels are among them.   Sensitives with special abilities do exist, and they have access to other planes of life that most people will never experience ... .  much less understand. 

[griz]

I had an uncle who I was very close to as a child.  I often felt he was truly the only one who loved me for a very long time.  When he was in the hospital on his death bed my cousin asked me to come and see him even though he was in a coma.  She wanted me to be able to say goodbye.  I went to the hospital and sat by his bed and held his hand for a long time.  When it was time to leave I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I love you Uncle Johnny and you will always be my Uncle Johnny" and he squeezed my hand.  It wasn't my imagination, my cousins saw it also.  After he past there were many times that I knew his spirit was with me.  About two weeks after he died I was upstairs in my house and my daughters were playing in my older daughters room and I heard someone playing the harmonica. This was a little weird because Uncle Johnny played the harmonica and every year on my birthday he would call and play happy birthday to me.  My cousin gave me his harmonica when he died.  I thought somehow my girls had gotten a hold of it and I went to my daughters room and opened the door.  They were both sitting on the floor playing with dolls.  I asked them who was playing the harmonica and they said, we thought you were.  I went downstairs and looked in my desk draw and there was the harmonica just as I left it.  Over the years Uncle Johnny's spirit is always with me.  My husband and my parents used to make fun of me but there have been many times that my children see things happen and they believe me.  I know this sounds weird but I have this deal with Uncle Johnny that when I need him and I talk to him he needs to let me know he hears me.  EVERY SINGLE TIME I do within seconds I find money.  It could be a simple as a penny on the ground or sticking my hand in my pocket and finding a quarter but it never fails.

I never believed that people could communicate with spirits before.  I was a definite eye roller when someone would talk about it but I know it is true and I also know that it is something very special.  Maybe you could share with your daughter your experience.  It might open up the lines to talk about it and could make her feel more at ease with it.  I don;t care if people don't believe me... .  my dh thinks it is crazy but I know it is true.  When my soul is in need of healing and comfort I know Uncle Johnny will be there.  Just the other day we were walking out to the car to go shopping and my DD found a penny next to the car.  She picked it up and said to me, "I guess Uncle Johnny is coming with us".

Griz

[MammaMia]

Griz

AWESOME!  Spirits are all around us.  When we truly love or are loved... .  they never really leave us. Thanks for sharing this.  I am a believer as well.  You are not crazy.

[vivekananda]

On this thread we have had discussion of a wide range of concerns such as: hyper sensitivity, spirits, angels, the paranormal in general and, evil. Except for the concept of hyper sensitivity, all of these things are in the realm of belief systems. As belief systems, they are very real to the people who believe (yes my dad is with me although he died 40 years ago, that is real to me; yes the ghost who scared me badly 30 years ago felt very real) but in our reality, these beliefs are not universally accepted as being real.

I return to my original point therefore. Whether it is real or not, is not the point. You do not have to accept my beliefs, I expect them to be respected. If I believed in God, Allah, Krishna, Garuda and the multiplicity of Hindu gods or the principles of Buddha, or the Dreaming of indigenous Australia, I would still expect my beliefs to be respected. My point here is that while we may see the 'truth of the universe' through a belief system, there are many other divergent belief systems. If we insist there is only one way to believe, then we are at risk.

As we are concerned with how best to support our children with BPD, we return to what is best for our children.

Adolescence is a time when all children are more vulnerable. It is commonly accepted that our BPD children can be highly sensitive. That may make them even more vulnerable. We also know that our children with BPD often have a distorted view of commonly accepted reality - one of the reasons they keep on running against the world and getting hurt. It is important that we are clear about what is commonly accepted reality, otherwise we risk a negative influence on our children, a distorted sense of reality. A distorted sense of reality gives them further excuse to avoid responsibility for their actions in this world. I do believe they need to understand how this world works, so they can live in it and be happy.

My priority with my daughter is dealing with the BPD, everything else will fall into place if that occurs. So, the tools that help us with this are validation and values based boundary setting. The concepts that will bring us to a place where we can be balanced in our commonly accepted reality are the three critical components to mindfulness (being open to the universe, acceptance and detachment). None of this is dependent on any belief system, it is universally accepted and accepting.

If we have concerns with 'negative energies' it is entirely appropriate to use ritual to remind ourselves and to rededicate ourselves to the good in us and in the universe. In indigenous Australia, the cleansing ceremony is based aroud burning eucalyptus leaves and having the people walk through the smoke and breathe it in. It encompasses all the concepts of their belief systems, eg that mother earth cares for us and we in turn should respect and care for our mother. It is a way of embracing the universality of goodness in everything (being open to the universe). Catholics have various different rituals, usually incorporated into them is burning of insense and prayer to God (who represents the universe which he created). Eastern religions also burn insense as a way to purify the air and cleanse it and connect to their various higher powers.

Cleanandsober, I don't know that it matters much which of the rituals you adopt, or if you create your own which has meaning for you. I do know there are Civil Celebrants who will conduct such things for you. What is important is the rededication to positive energy in your lives and in your home. This will help create a sense of security for your daughter in this situation.

Cheers,

Vivek ananda

[qcarolr]

Vivek  - you can say so clearly what I am experiencing and trying to say so often. Thanks.

What is important is the rededication to positive energy in your lives and in your home. This will help create a sense of security for your daughter in this situation.

Safety and security is the primary, first need that has to be fulfilled before anything else can be accomplished in each of our lives.

qcr