pwBPD facebook behavior.

[wanttoknowmore]

I observed that pwBPD are a lot involved in facebook and pose ,post pictures and updates of their activities frequently. They also seem to have hundreds of facebook friends. Mine doesnot discard even the people who have died.

Can anyone explain what it means when pwBPD facebook suddenly has no activity for more than a week. This is someobody who updated every day ,somtimes twice a day. Any thoughts?

[inepted]

I noticed this too, but I try not to read too much into it. Since we broke up, she's completely stopped posting any pictures or updates to facebook. She still goes on every day, multiple times a day, but never posts or makes updates. But then again, she has pretty much stopped living her life. All her energy seems to be devoted to keeping up these new 'friendships' right now.

[GreenMango]

Wanttoknowmore are you in a push phase and waiting to see what's going on with the relationship?

[wanttoknowmore]

Inepted,

Thanks. Yes, it is surprising that she will stop her facebbok activity totally for last 9 days. Last pic she posted on Mar03 was of her daughter holding the dog with the big christmas tree in background which in fact, was a gift from me for 2012 Christmas. Also, her best friend(female) is posting pics to which she has not put any comments at all. (very unusual) She has not removed her facebook cover pic. where she is wearing the expensive ethnic attire (was a gift from me).

She is allowing me access to all her facebbok with an account she created only for me with a usernamr which has half of the letters from her first name and half of the letters from my first  name.

Mango,

Yes,I continue to remain in push phase ,first with S.T. for 5 days and then, rage attacks for last 7 days. She was raging fiercely on text "You think I am bad and evil,then, just kill me ... .  kill me ... just kill me ,I am so tired of everything... .  please kill me now" I was shocked. Infact, I sent a last text 5 days ago " At this point, I am bad for you and we shouldnot talk... I will not contact you for next 15 days." I have not made any contact for last 5 days. I dont believe,she has a new b.f. She is not impulsive when it comes to r/s. Yes, she does flirt frequently to make me jealous and to see my reaction.

Mango, what else you think I should do more? I love this person and want to help atleast some.

[GreenMango]

That's a pretty extreme response from her.

Have you posted on staying this particular interaction?  It may help to get some feedback on how to handle these events.

[hithere]

I noticed my pwBPD would stop posting and even talk about taking down her FB profile when things in her life became particularly chaotic.  She liked to share the highlights, to make people think her life was picture-perfect.

[wanttoknowmore]

Greenmango,

My only question is whether I should continue with NC or I should text asking"i am worried... .  are you OK?'

Can you give advice about this dilemma as my last text was that I will contact you after March20.

[inepted]

Greenmango,

My only question is whether I should continue with NC or I should text asking"i am worried... .  are you OK?'

Can you give advice about this dilemma as my last text was that I will contact you after March20.

If you told her you would talk to her after March 20th, it would probably be best to leave it at that. Running to them after you say you're going NC can just often make matters worse. And you have to ask yourself, even if something wasn't okay right now, is there really anything you could do to help her?

[GreenMango]

No contact is something people leaving a relationship do. 

It can be really destructive in a leaving situation sometimes... .  I can only imagine what it would do in a situation where you are trying to make it work and stay together.

Is this is time out?  Did she stop calling?  Did you? 

[have gone nc]

If you have set a boundary and then break that, are you not showing that your boundaries are not valid? And basically the whole thing of a BPD relationship is not having any boundaries which is why we get abused and stay?

[wanttoknowmore]

Greenmango,

After visit to a hospice on Feb19, i observed her dissociating and the look on face was really different. On March 03, she posted a pic of her daughter and

since then her facebook activity seems completely FROZEN. No achange.

After 5 days of ST, came the rage for 2 days. Then, I decided to go NC and texted that I willnot  contact her until Mar20. I am in NC now(6th day)

I dont know if I shouln leave or continue. Its very confusung. I have this strong feeling that within a month,she might contact me as in past, she came back and said"If didnot call,I was going to call you... I missed you so much" The facebook cover pic and no activity is mind boggling... the ultimate in mixed messaging !

[j4c]

My ex was forever changing her profile picture - some old, some new, but mostly they were pretty seductive pics. She had about 1000 'friends' including around 30 guys she hardly knew but would regularly tickle her ego with 'WOW' comments! She would upload pics whenever she bought her kids any presents so the whole world could tell her how great a mum she is. She would also 'check-in' everytime she went anywhere remotely interesting as to give off the impression she has a life! Her status would be updated 2-3 times a day - usually with her trying to be funny as to entice the boys, or simply to play the victim role for whatever reason.

This has pretty much been her participation on facebook over the last 5 years but the day her mum joined up (last Christmas) was the day my ex deactivated her account! (the r/s with her mum is very fragile). Since then shes not been back on but tbh im quite surprised as i didnt think she was capable of living without it. Her new bf probably had a say in it as i know he had a bit of drama going on with his ex through fb.

Anyway my thoughts regarding pwBPD on facebook - firstly is it possible that they could paint facebook black? As in a few bad experiences or dramas on there and they just cut it out their life just like they do to us? Im fully expecting my ex to go back on there as soon as this new 'r/s' goes knockers up and she pines for fresh meat but while shes got a bf to concentrate on - & theyre still in the idealization phase, she can live without it. Also i wouldnt read too much into having friends on fb that have since passed away. Most people i know dont delete deceased friends and they obviously cant delete their own profile.

[wanttoknowmore]

The theory that they stop facebook while in idealisation phase doesnot fit my situation.  Over two years ago, when she was in extreme idealisation phase with me, her FB activity was more active .She would post everything,where she is ,what she doing and her nicest pictures. He added me to her own account and still, has not blocked anything or deleted anything. Her cover still shows an ethnic attire ,gifted by me. This can be a hurdle if she is or wants to date someone else as as soon as you type on Google, here she is with this exotic attire and grooming witch is foreign.

It can't  help with any potential new bf as he will be puzzled and she would have to explain it.

It seem her life has come to a stand still for last 12 days. When I hear other members here saying after break up, their partner blocked them or deleted fb, it is hard for me understand why mine did not ever do anything like this? She is a waif with lot of self loathing and victim postures.