13 weeks of NC but still Ruminating

[stevenq]

Well Im at 13weeks of NC with my BPD ex gf. I still ruminate at times and I see the make and model of her car everywhere i go. It gets me angry that she still on my mind and that she hasnt tried to contact me. I guess im still not over her. I definitely dont miss the arguements, the walking on eggshells, the constant reminders of all the other men trying to pick up on her. Luckily i have 2 small kids who keep me from wanting to go back to that toxic relationship. I guess this is going to take longer than i thought to get over this.

[marbleloser]

It takes a while stevenq.You'll get past it in your own time though.I remember being where you are.I saw her everywhere!And,sometimes she really was there.

When you feel weak,remember that feeling of walking on eggshells,the arguments,the men.Remind yourself why you deserve more than that.

Have you resumed any hobbies or started any new ones? What ages are your kids? I'm sure they help occupy your time.

[RedCandle]

Steven I'm in the same spot.

I ruminate... .  ALL the time. I hope that somewhere in the near future, I will be over it for good.

Mostly, I ruminate over what I'd like to say, should I ever hear from him. And boy do I have a lot to say!

I think I'm also in shock a little that this time... .  it looks like I really wont ever hear from him... .  we've never gone this long.

I suppose that's for the best. But I understand how you feel... .  lack of closure somehow... .  or perhaps, lack of willingness for closure.

[stevenq]

Thank you for the replies. It helped me. My kids are 9 and 4 so they do take my time. I wish i never would have introduced them to her. Oh well live and learn. I know i shouldnt beat myself up over this especially since im the one who ended it. Im currently looking for a job and in a way its a blessing because im able to focus more on finding a job. Well i should be greatful im not with her right now. I could just imagine all the critizing i would be getting right now!

[waitaminute]

Stevenq,

Hey similar in the sense that I still ruminate... .  Mostly about events and what they meant. Similar in that I ended it. And similar in that I have someone who is worth the sacrifice and pain that is caused by saying goodbye. And similar in that it's been about 14 weeks since I went NC. Lots of damage and rebuilding required but i'm getting through it.

We'll get through it. Oh yeah... .  Similar in that waitaminute is not my real name.You can guess what it is

[marbleloser]

Great ages! My two boys are 8 and 9. Lots of fun at these ages.Good luck on the job search and you may have introduced them to her,but you showed them that you have boundaries and they'll learn alot from that.

[stevenq]

Thank u marbleloser for keeping it positive!

[stevenq]

I give up waitaminute. What is your real name? Lol