Stood Strong plus a ? about there social life

[JonnyJon42]

So about a week ago my ex called me up which shocked me since ive blocked her number ( The App i use needs to be turned on after restarting the phone which it does not tell you). She said she was able to talk to me now and started down the same path she always does then said she wanted to be friends which i said no to since i dont see the point after 10 years of this nightmare plus i dont really even like her although i do miss her which i find odd. She then wanted to know if i wanted things she has of mine back which i said no even though there are a few things i would like back but im not risking seeing her and if she really wanted to return items back to me she could mail them to me cause she knows where i live and she knows were my mom lives. So im thinking that in a few weeks or months she will contact me again asking if im sure i dont want anything back.

I really have no want to get back into her nightmare of a life and am very proud of myself that i was able to walk away with out seeing her or letting her dangle me on the line which i feel was her goal to keep me close but not to close so she could run off with men ( she has a history of sleeping around and finding a new BF with in days sometimes of a break up) and then pick me back up when she was done. At one point she left me then dated a new guy days later then after a few months got back with me without telling me about him and cheated on him with me and her drug dealer at the time so that was a nightmare i dont want to repeat which i feel she might be trying to set up again.

Its always the same thing over and over things are great then she dives into her social life. Finds a new group or people and starts mirroring the people in the new group and sooner or later leaves me then dive in even deeper with the new people. Then after a few months comes back and cuts all ties with the old group. Some times she reconnects with people in the old groups but never gets as involved as she was. Seems like all the women in the groups hate her and all the men love her. Has almost no female friends and if she does she drops them at some point or another. Anyone else have a smiler issue with there BPDex and there messed up social life?

[hithere]

Good job on staying away, don't go back ever! Stay strong!

My ex dangled the 'pick up stuff' a bunch of times.   I simply told her to leave the stuff on the porch and I would have someone swing by and get it.  She never left it out then started asking to drop it off... .  no way!

good luck

[mango_flower]

Well done for staying strong - proud of you 

I don't have much input on the ex and her friendship groups, but she does tend to fall in with new groups easily, mirroring them - she never does anything awful to them to end up without them, but somehow she seems to move on from each new group all the time... .  

I think it's because she sees them as her new best friends, whereas for them, she's just another girl who has hung out with them once or twice.

[JonnyJon42]

Sorry it took awhile to reply been working and was my birthday a few days ago so no time :P

Flower

You make a good point about the "best friends" in her mind and just another girl in theirs. She always finds the same kinds of groups mostly people who are unemployed or have like 3 kids with 3 different people. Again its mostly guys she hangs out with and always seems to get into things with the females of the groups. To be honest i think she flirts way to much with these guys and the females pick up on it then she acts like a victim and they are all crazy and saying things that are not true BUT this happens all the time so at some point it cant be in the females minds. It also seems like she will have "favorite" guys in a group the ones she hangs out the most seems like they are the alphas of the sad groups.

Been thinking about his off and on its really hard to date someone who has cheated many times and be ok with that life style. She also locks her phone and really has no valid reason to do so i take it that its a sign that there is always more to the story. Also gets old the consistent changing of her personality based on the people she is hanging out with. This last time around became a hippy over night and even her cousin was asking what the hell is wrong with her.

But from what i been reading this kind of stuff is text book behavior for most not all BPD people.