Should I feel bad?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I was angry, but now I am starting to feel sorry for my ex again. She messed me about for months after then breakup,then started asking me for advice and said she misses me and loves me.Then she told me she spent the weekend with a guy,but nothing happened. So I told her to think about how she acts and ask herself if it is right. I then told her to delete my number and said bye,I also said don't ever threaten to come over to my house again. We have not spoke for over a month now, but I keep thinking I was out of order and want to help her, then I think she will never change forget... .  it is so confusing.

[jj2121]

I was angry, but now I am starting to feel sorry for my ex again. She messed me about for months after then breakup,then started asking me for advice and said she misses me and loves me.Then she told me she spent the weekend with a guy,but nothing happened. So I told her to think about how she acts and ask herself if it is right. I then told her to delete my number and said bye,I also said don't ever threaten to come over to my house again. We have not spoke for over a month now, but I keep thinking I was out of order and want to help her, then I think she will never change forget... .  it is so confusing.

[mango_flower]

That's the worst!  I get so angry with my ex sometimes, but then she is nice for a bit and that makes it worse somehow... .  

It's like, when you're painted black it is just hurtful and unfair

When they contact missing you,  you feel so guilty and frustrated as to why they won't come back

When they are sad, you hurt for them

When their life is going really well without you, it hits the self-esteem... .  

I don't know your story so hard to advise on what you should do... .  

But read a LOT and get a good feel for how bad her BPD is, and whether it's something you could live with.  Living in limbo is truly the worst.

[jj2121]

she has not been diagnosed but she told me she was not right and needed help and that she was weird during the relationship. Looking back I now realise all the warning signs that popped up. She broke with me after some family issues, then I realised how crazy she was acting, the breakup dragged on for months.

[Clearmind]

jj, why is it you are more willing to help her at the expense of helping yourself? You are sacrificing yourself - why?

What are you responsible for?

What is she responsible for?

[jj2121]

I need to forget her,I know I can't be with someone who treats me like that. It is just hard after I got angry with her and thought I may have been out of order. It made feel bad when there was self awareness on her part of a problem wit her,although she would deny it again.