I must be a hypocrite

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

The other day I told someone that they should goto a race and not be affraid of seeing their ex.  So here I am today - not wanting to goto church because I know my STBexw will be there with my daughter since it is her week.  I have been growing stronger everyday with NC and not seeing her - and I'm scared some of those feelings might come back and I might relapse. 

[cal644]

The other day I told someone that they should goto a race and not be affraid of seeing their ex.  So here I am today - not wanting to goto church because I know my STBexw will be there with my daughter since it is her week.  I have been growing stronger everyday with NC and not seeing her - and I'm scared some of those feelings might come back and I might relapse. 

[mango_flower]

Every situation is different though - and I'm guessing your friend's breakup wasn't as crazy and as much of a head-scramble?

Sounds like you're making the healthy choice for you - to stay away.  And that's a good thing x

[recoil]

I was just having this conversation last night.

It's so easy for us to encourage one another -- but so much harder to apply our own advice to ourselves.

It's like we care more for others than ourselves sometimes.  In some situations though, like this, if you know seeing her will trigger you, don't go.

I know I would have a hard time being around my ex right now.  My foundation isn't strong enough (yet) to withstand that.  I need to stay away for now until I build strength.

[healingmyheart]

cal644,

I'm the one you encouraged to go race.  You know, I respect your honesty and insightfulness and for admitting that you are also struggling with the same issues... .  it's ok.  Somethings its easier to see whats right in another persons life than our own.  We have to be patient with ourselves.

Btw, I didn't go to the race but mainly because I haven't been sleeping at all and felt I needed sleep more than getting up early and running a race.  As it was, my ex didn't go to the race like he said. I did get a good nights sleep and have a race scheduled next month which I intend to make.

Just gotta' keep taking those baby steps... .  

[cal644]

Thanks Stone - I feel better now.  But it is easier to advise someone but then when we realize we are going through the same pain - I felt like a D%$^ encouraging you when I knew seeing her might set me back on all the progress I had made this week.