Someone sent her flowers at work.

[recoil]

Well, I've always said I felt she had someone lined up already.  When she asked for a break, I opted for full break-up.  I had noticed that she was constantly on her phone during the past month, something that I hadn't experienced with her before.  I figured there was an emotional attachment being made with someone.  But I kept my mouth shut, as I was walking on egg shells.

There is a bit of pain associated with getting this knowledge (we work in the same building).  But at the same time, it's liberating.  For awhile there, I was wondering if I should have given her a break.  Maybe she needed it due to her stress levels, which I felt were high.  But a part of me said there was someone else involved. 

I have been tempted to text her with a sly comment.  But I'm not.  I'm above that.  However, I did throw away all of her love letters and cards today.  Wow.  There were quite a few of them.  They were so well written.  I believed them, at the time.  So many declarations of love -- and wanting to be married.  Reading them made me sad.  But they sit at the bottom of my trash can now.

It's nice to know I was right.  As I look back, she did me a favor.  Honestly. 

[lonestar3]

Recoil, I have felt very similar feelings with my exBPD.  Knowing she's talking to or seeing other guys.  Knowing she's talking to another ex.  Knowing she's repeating all the same patterns I noticed as being destructive while we were together.  It's so hard to watch because I still care for her deeply even though there's absolutely nothing I can do to help.  I know I have to protect myself and that's the main priority.  It still hurts to know she's sharing things with other men that she once shared with me, but like you said, we're better off.  That's one of the few comforting thoughts I have.

[recoil]

Called my T.  Had a great session.  She even threw out the possibility she sent herself the flowers.  I thought it was ludicrous.  Who would do that?

Since I ended it, she's reached out in various ways weekly to keep me engaged; unsuccessfully.  This could have been her upping the ante (especially since I blocked her on FB last weekend) and honestly, it almost worked.  I almost reached out to her.

Either way though, I'm letting it go.

If she sent them to herself, that's really, really low.  I really don't want to believe this.

If a new suitor is after her, so be it.  She should try to find happiness and who knows, maybe the next guy is naturally better at validating/SET/DEARMAN.  <shrug>

I really hope it's the latter.  Kind of weird but the idea she sent herself flowers really bothers me.

The feelings hurt for a bit today.  I deep breathed through them, ranted loudly to release the anger and I felt so much better afterwards.  It was good to "discharge" those feelings without acting them out.  Then I remembered why I left the relationship and all the crap I endured and those feelings went away.  

[recoil]

I hate to post this but I kind of find it humorous.

There is a third option:  She manipulated my replacement into sending her flowers at work, knowing word would get around to me.  I can see it now.  "You're great.  You're probably the kind of guy that would send flowers to a girl at work.  None of my other boyfriends in the past would do that [lie]".

Next thing you know, flowers arrive.

I'm just venting a bit.

The flowers could be a genuine sign of affection from a caring man.  She could use one in her life since she just lost a very good one.

[afterdeath]

Your thoughts on the flowers shouldn't last longer than the flowers themselves.

Why do you care who sent the flowers, if you aren't reaching out to her, move on with your life and find happiness.

The flowers and who sent them to her, and her in general are no longer your business or concern.

Focus on you.

[recoil]

True enough.

[BlushAndBashful]

Really, the motivation behind the flowers shouldn't matter to you.

Perhaps it's from a new suitor. Perhaps he's madly in love. Perhaps she twisted his arm. Perhaps she's playing a game.

Maybe she sent them to herself- does it make her a bad person? Is she purposely trying to be manipulative solely to get your goat, knowing about the grapevine? Did she just need a pick-me-up? Did they actually get delivered, or did she just bring them into work with her?

Not trying to play Devil's advocate- but I love flowers. Considering I spend much more time at my desk than in my house, I'd enjoy them more at my office. I would have no problem spending $8 on a cash-and-carry bouquet for my desk... .  except for the awkward part of bringing them into my own office. It would almost be worth the extra $5 delivery charge to have them delivered.

And let's face it... .  if she were really that manipulative and horrid that she ONLY did it to get you riled up... .  it worked, didn't it? Move on... .  

[id-crisis]

Called my T.  Had a great session.  She even threw out the possibility she sent herself the flowers.  I thought it was ludicrous.  Who would do that?

Someone with a personality disorder!   

[recoil]

It riled me up.  I think that's normal.  I was in the relationship almost two years and it ended about six weeks ago.  

Today, I was stalked in the parking lot.  She parked her car where I had to drive by it (very unusual).  She timed her lunch knowing my schedule.  She was in the car, and sat there watching me drive around her.  I didn't pay her any mind.  Never once gave her a glance to acknowledge her existence.  

They last time she stalked me like this, we ended up recycling.

I'm not going back.  I'm just offended by the tactics.

[GreenMango]

Immature stuff right? Kind of like a high school kid would pull.  Totally totally immature - coming at you straight requires some ownership and self esteem.  I'm guessing she probably has a hard time with these, its easier to do these things.

Uncomfortable.  This used to irk me a loot.  Not so much anymore now I just feel sorry for the person because imagine the ridiculous amount of energy one would have to use doing this.  Just thinking about doing something like this would be exhausting.