That's great, XL--I really like how you're really looking at this and putting your goals on "paper." That takes a lot of courage.

One thing that has helped me, and may help you, is to take baby steps and celebrate milestones. Setting realistic goals can keep you on track and motivated. Instead of saying, "I'm going to lose 50 lbs," for example, you start small and say, "I'm going to lose 5 lbs to start," and reward yourself with something small when you lose that 5 lbs. Then you just keep going. I've done that quite a bit, with things ranging from cleaning out my closet to tasks at work. Just something for you to think about... .