being the out parent

[Eco]

Im having trouble dealing with not seeing my 3 week old daughter, my uNPD/BPDxgf was being reasonable the first week but it didnt last. now she is being very difficult with letting me see our daughter, we arent married and I havent been put down as the father yet. we havent made any visatation or child support yet, im going to see a lawyer next week. im really heartbroken not being able to see her and now anxious about when she will let me see her

[marbleloser]

First thing,and I don't want to hurt you,but get a paternity test.Make absolutely sure that you are the childs father.

If it's positive and you are,then you have a base for filing for your parental rights.If you aren't,then she has no claim to child support from you.Get this done ASAP! You'll probably have to get a court order to have it done,but do it!

One,it will show,later down the line,that you're concerned that the child may not be yours.Two,it will show that if the child is yours,you are wanting your parental rights protected.

Do NOT,under any circumstances claim the child as yours until you've had a paternity test.You don't want to be locked in for the next 19 years,paying for a child that isn't yours.

[bpdex]

I agree with the above as well.  Insist and get a paternity test done before claiming the child as yours. 

[scraps66]

Hey - have you had a paternity test?  To ensure you are the father?  That was the frist thing my first L asked me after I explained the situation which was basically... .   entrapment by conception.  A COMMON thing with female BPD's.

[Faded]

If your in the uk then i would look at 'parental responsibility agreement'

If the child being yours is not a concern then i believe this may be the way forward for you.

As i live in the uk i cant advise outside of this country.


A parental responsibility agreement is made when a couple have a child but are not married (childs father has few rights).

Applying for one is easy. Print the form from on an online source and make an appointment at your local family court.

Give the ex the details.

If you turn up and the ex does not then the court or yourself will be advised to apply for a 'parental responsibility order'


The 'agreement' is for both parents that agree the childs welfare is paramount and the basics will be that both parents have equal responsibility to the child and each other as parents.


The 'order' is exactly the same but when one of the parents refuses to co-operate on a parental level and so the courts request the presence of the parent who refused a parental agreement.

It is a very quick and stress free process and if you are in the uk then i would definately advise you to do this. Seeing a solicitor will do all this for you but at a cost so get a few steps ahead of it all so that should a solicitor be needed then it will at minimum costs to yourself.


Theres plenty to google on parental agreements and orders so ill let you do some ground work for yourself so you get to understand the process.

Heres a couple of links to get your head into... .

www.lawpack.co.uk/cohabitation/product5434.asp

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/apply-for-parental-responsibility



If your in the US or another country then im afraid my advice will be of no use.

Feel free to message me if your in the uk and need any advice as i went through this process many years ago.