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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: hello crazy  (Read 362 times)
nonbpd
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 337



« on: March 26, 2013, 10:13:33 AM »

Ok... . back after 6 months of not posting... .

I will jump over the whole hystory and just say what just happened. I am sure the story is similar in lots of ways for lots of us!

Last time we talked was a bit over 5 month ago... . when he said he trully hates me for talking with his best friend with whom he just was in very deep bad relations... . (he painted him blacker than black). He is glad he leaves the country (he did medicine university in my country) and will never ever see me in his life... . that I "betrayed him and left him alone in the dark " (that is after he left me and refused any dialogue... . and cheated on me in repeted ocasion... . typical I guess) ... . and he was gone to marry a girl from his country... . I trully do not know what happened there but I heard they broke up in octomber... . anyway... .

A few days ago he made another fb adress (as he is blocken on his 2 fb adresses that he owns, on skype, yahoo, etc. plus changed my phone number since more that 1 year ago) and he wrote... . basically nothing... . just how am I doing and if I am ok... . did not respond... . wrote again... . I responded... . well... . I must say I am over this story... . and do not love him anymore, or fantasize about him since a long time... . but it just freaked me out... . he is soo scarry... . out of any logic and just... . shoked me... . basically told me he doesn't speak to his parents anymore (he is from a muslim family in wich his parents are very severe), he moved with a friend in an apartament... . that he is bisexual now... . and he likes it... . and that he is on very addictive drugs... . like crystal meth and other drugs... . injectable stuff... . he jumped from: "you are someone I hurt, you are a great person... . to I am a snake and will remain a snake... . to I hate you all, I gave you everything and you all did not apreciate me... . an agressive hate with lots of swearing and then abruptly said... . Smiling (click to insert in post) I am ok now... . I just explode sometimes and react badly... that's me... . hihi... . how is the weather there? " The most freaky part is that the discussion did not escalate in a normal way... . the moods were just in a very big contrast one after another... . and never answered my questions... . seamed like he was alone.

The fact is, I read a lot about the desease but now I just realized that you can see the real face only after you are over this person. He is someone I have never met honestly... . I don't know this persone. He moved from my country after finnishing medicine here... . went through the stress of interacting with people, breaking up with me, final exams, failing it first time... . arguing with everyone, moving back home, prepearing to get married and then breaking up and arriving to the present state... . I feel very sorry for him... . my heart hurts a bit knowing this kind of people exist in this world, with so much daily pain. It is different now though. I don't feel the obligation to do something. I don't feel his pain anymore. I was not angry 4 one moment during the whole conversation and trying to be right or listened... . was just... . paralized with meeting soo much crazyness... . The second day I wrote to him to please give up drugs... . blah blah... . He blocked me... . Then he erased his old fb account with all his friends, his family... . everyone... . and left only the new one on wich he has one new friend... . (yes, I cheked)... .

Today I am sad... . I cryed a bit... . my life will go on in a normal manner... . I will be fine... . I know it. I just thought of this place as the only place I could share this story in the raw way... . You all were my family during my transition from crazy-town to the real world... . so for all you that still wonder... . it does get better. I will never be the same, something changed inside of me back then in lots of ways... . but life will be beautifull again... . it will be normal, with bad and good times... . but they will still be the same... . if not even worse... . they will lead crazy painfull lives... . maybe untill they dye if they not seek help... .

I forgave my ex long time ago because I understood he is ill and I understood I was a bit ill too by thinking I can be anyone's saviour!... . just ... . today... . I morn a living dead... . a gost that still haunts arround here but never found his way towards the light... .

I wish you all health and peace! God bless!

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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2013, 10:53:55 AM »

  nonBPD 

and peace for you too. Its good to write these things down. Yes, it is sad.

Excerpt
I will be fine... . I know it.

Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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