Is there a book that could help me?

[pink_heart44]

I have a loving a very understanding fiance'. He is the one that has given me the courage and strength to set boundaries with my uBPD mom. I have noticed thought that it is difficult for me to verbally communicate with him. I have that problem with basically everyone but it means the most that it's with him. He is the only healthy romantic relationship that I have had. And to be honest that scares me a bit because I have no idea how to be in a healthy relationship.

Is there a book that could help me better understand the affect my uBPD mom has had on me and how that carries through to other relationships? And how to deal with that? 

[Kwamina]

Hi there,

Have you read Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Ann Lawson? This is a very good book about what it's like growing up with a BPD mom and how this affects you.

Another good book is Surviving a Borderline Parent by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman.

[pink_heart44]

I have Understanding the Borderline Mother. And I love it. it has helped me a lot but it doesn't really touch on how to deal with the affect on how growing up with her instability has on other relationships in my life.

[Kwamina]

I understand where you're coming from. I use this book along side the book 'Feeling Good'. Understanding the BPD mom has given me a lot of insight and the other book has helped me overcome a lot of the emotional and spiritual damage. You might find the book Shame & Guilt by Jane Middelton-Moz interesting too. It's about abused children in general and contains a list of charecteristics of adults shamed as kids and how this affects them in their adult relationships.