no contact: practical issues

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I went NC two week ago. Felt really good about it. Earlier I somehow hoped that I would hear from her. The past weeks were different: everyrime I opened my mail I was afeai for a message from her... .

And yesterday it was there: some questions on a practical level. But it doesn't feel okay.

I will have to answer them, but rather don't.

Any thoughts?

[VeryFree]

I went NC two week ago. Felt really good about it. Earlier I somehow hoped that I would hear from her. The past weeks were different: everyrime I opened my mail I was afeai for a message from her... .

And yesterday it was there: some questions on a practical level. But it doesn't feel okay.

I will have to answer them, but rather don't.

Any thoughts?

[DragoN]

Take your time. No rush, and when the answers are there, you will feel comfortable to respond and decide whether or not the Practical is something she could handle herself.

[seeking balance]

No contact is a tool that helps us detach... . not a tool for controlling someone else.

If it is practical, answer.  Keep it short and fact based leaving no room for a personal discussion.  Many of us have practiced here.  If you are comfortable, post her questions and your responses before sending and we can give you feedback.

Many times, we make these situations worse because we are emotionally triggered from the contact.  Give yourself a day to regain your balance and breath.

[VeryFree]

Thank you both.

The waiting-part is difficult for me.

It keeps spinning in my head unroll I answer (or decide not to answer).

I will take my time... . Well I'll try... .

[DragoN]

I will take my time... . Well I'll try... .

Don't try, Do.

You can write 1000 responses, but just don't send them.

Set a time and date if they must be answered. And don't send till that time and date has come. Discipline. You are in control. Your mind, not your emotions.