Three years NC

[Depression = 72% of members]

April 1 will mark 3 years NC with my parents.

My mother is diagnosed with bipolar disorder but also has many BPD traits. On my birthday (March 31) three years ago, she gave me a birthday call where she said "It's all downhill after forty!" and she got mad when I laughed, which I did because I thought she was teasing me. No, she was serious. By the way, I was turning 35, which made it all the weirder. The next day, I found an email in my inbox from her, which had been sent on my birthday, telling me, among other things, ":)on't ever try to contact us any more By calling ,or writing ,or E-mail we will not respond we both have too much class for that. You are a ME, ME , ME person that we've both come to dislike very much."

I'm posting on here now partly to acknowledge the three years NC, partly to tell others that, yes, for me, NC has been soo worthwhile. In order to achieve NC, though, I changed all my contact information. I also changed my legal name. And my parents live 2500 miles away, so it's not like they can come knock on my door to ask what's up. (But if they did, I'd warn them that they were trespassing, and I'd call the police if they didn't leave.) I haven't talked (I mean literally, on the phone) to ANYONE in my FOO for three years. No one in my FOO has my phone number - because if they did, so would my mother. I exchanged emails with a cousin for a while but even that died away. I exchange Christmas cards with an uncle and another aunt and uncle, but that's it.

Since the estrangement, I've made more friends and have more energy to focus on my life here and now. My stress level is much lower than before. I don't foresee myself ever breaking NC, not even for family funerals or weddings. They can think of me however they want for that.

Anyway, here's to 3 years NC.

[The other Chiquita]

April 1 will mark 3 years NC with my parents.

My mother is diagnosed with bipolar disorder but also has many BPD traits. On my birthday (March 31) three years ago, she gave me a birthday call where she said "It's all downhill after forty!" and she got mad when I laughed, which I did because I thought she was teasing me. No, she was serious. By the way, I was turning 35, which made it all the weirder. The next day, I found an email in my inbox from her, which had been sent on my birthday, telling me, among other things, ":)on't ever try to contact us any more By calling ,or writing ,or E-mail we will not respond we both have too much class for that. You are a ME, ME , ME person that we've both come to dislike very much."

I'm posting on here now partly to acknowledge the three years NC, partly to tell others that, yes, for me, NC has been soo worthwhile. In order to achieve NC, though, I changed all my contact information. I also changed my legal name. And my parents live 2500 miles away, so it's not like they can come knock on my door to ask what's up. (But if they did, I'd warn them that they were trespassing, and I'd call the police if they didn't leave.) I haven't talked (I mean literally, on the phone) to ANYONE in my FOO for three years. No one in my FOO has my phone number - because if they did, so would my mother. I exchanged emails with a cousin for a while but even that died away. I exchange Christmas cards with an uncle and another aunt and uncle, but that's it.

Since the estrangement, I've made more friends and have more energy to focus on my life here and now. My stress level is much lower than before. I don't foresee myself ever breaking NC, not even for family funerals or weddings. They can think of me however they want for that.

Anyway, here's to 3 years NC.

[BlueCat]

     

Sorry you had to of course, but congrats on three years of standing up for and taking care of yourself I'm at 2.5 years and (after dealing with the initial breakthrough crisis and getting through all that) I can now say that I'm the happiest, calmest, most well adjusted I've been in my entire life. It really is a new world, eh?

[tiredmommy2]

April 1 will mark 3 years NC with my parents.

I'm sorry you were put in a position where this was necessary, but congrats for taking control of your life.  August will be 2 years for me, so I'm not too far behind you. 

Since the estrangement, I've made more friends and have more energy to focus on my life here and now. My stress level is much lower than before. I don't foresee myself ever breaking NC, not even for family funerals or weddings. They can think of me however they want for that.

It's amazing what cutting toxic people out of your life can do for you, right? I'm with you on the never breaking NC thing too - with a full head of hair (it fell out from stress) and a relatively drama-free life, I don't see it either. 

[poodlemom]

Other Chiquita,

I could have written your post! Life is so much sweeter on the other side of NC. I do not regret for one second my decision to leave the pain filled madness of BPD.

Poodle

[simplesimon]

it's great isn't it!

I am NC for 6 years now.  It's wonderful.  I don't have anxiety when the phone rings or random people stop by.  No more RCMP at my door (cause I am missing  ) or family gaslightling me.

Best of all I don't know and can honestly say I don't care where my mother is... . she not part of my life anymore!