Hello skelly bean,

I'm glad you are here and sorry that you are suffering in trying to navigate your relationship with your mom. BPD is a difficult illness for the person suffering from it and for those around them. You are no longer alone by being here. This is a great group of people who understand and want to help.
You describe what feels like panic attacks and that your life is spinning out of control when you are around her. I completely understand that. At our house, it is crazy making.
A couple of links to get you started are:
How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her ChildrenBPD: What is it? How can I tell?How often do you see your mom?
Do you have friends and other relatives for support?
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Being Mindful