no contact is making me miss her more

[trevjim]

I've found that no contact, or at least time has helped me in some respects, she is on my mind a lot less than she used to be, I'm no longer in denail, I'm not as angry as I used to be, I can enjoy things again.

But I find myself missing her more and more strongly each day and its getting tough.

[Blessed0329]

How long have you been completely NC?

[trevjim]

Since Christmas day

[Blessed0329]

That's about two weeks longer than I've been NC with mine. I know it seems like forever, but based on what others on this board are saying, three months is not that long. I have those times of missing mine, too, and wonder if it will ever really go away. Hang in there.

[BradyK]

Trevjim --

I agree with Blessed. Everyone is different, but my experience with NC is that there was some seemingly random cycle of missing and not missing my ex. Sometimes I would think I was really ok and over the worst of it, and then the painful feelings of missing him would come raging back.

Part of that, I think, is that I would only remember the good stuff -- which was really good -- and not the whole person and the bad things. It really helped to remind myself of the bad things, not to be mean-spirited, but just to stay grounded in reality.

Anyway, it does get MUCH better in time! Don't worry. This pain is temporary. You sound like you are getting where you need to go. Stay strong.

[trevjim]

Thank you both! Ye it defiantly comes in cycles!

Trying to remember the bad stuff is so hard as the good stuff was just so good

[HarmKrakow]

be happy that every time it gets tough u stay in NO CONTACT, harm? Harm does go for contact every time it gets tough. So please trevjim, do continue.

[seeking balance]

But I find myself missing her more and more strongly each day and its getting tough.

Lean into this pain, let yourself feel it - cry, miss her, it won't last forever and it is really the only way through it.  Remembering the bad is good for getting ourselves away and through the bargaining phase of grief.

Letting go and grieving the good is how we get to the other side and peace that comes with acceptance.  This relationship ending is a loss, depression is a phase that we have to go through... .   it will be ok and you will make it through.

Peace,

SB