A Good Weekend

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I had the best weekend in my recovery so far

Been NC for a long time now. 15 months since the silent treatment screws were turned and 8 since I gave up trying to get him to communicate

This weekend marked the very first that my mind has not defaulted to the break-up and BPD. I was in the moment and happy and busy and calm.

It is a milestone for me.

And that progress can only be noted in the direct comparison to my normal state of sadness or pre-occupation

Letting go and detaching might be as simple as not wanting our exes to have any part of our lives

If I examine my life now... .   and the wonderful friends I have made; the good and bad dates I have been on; the spring in my step... .   I want them to remain MINE

I was so used to giving myself up completely to my exBPD that I did not really save anything for myself.

It's a lovely feeling to be protective of myself and my new emerging world and to have no urge to give it all away willy nilly.

I am proud of who I am now... .   proud of what is rising from the ashes... .   and feel no pull to share the new me with anyone other than worthy people.

Not sure about you guys, but my lack of boundaries or self-knowledge was a big factor in all of this.

I think I have both now

BB12

[bb12]

I had the best weekend in my recovery so far

Been NC for a long time now. 15 months since the silent treatment screws were turned and 8 since I gave up trying to get him to communicate

This weekend marked the very first that my mind has not defaulted to the break-up and BPD. I was in the moment and happy and busy and calm.

It is a milestone for me.

And that progress can only be noted in the direct comparison to my normal state of sadness or pre-occupation

Letting go and detaching might be as simple as not wanting our exes to have any part of our lives

If I examine my life now... .   and the wonderful friends I have made; the good and bad dates I have been on; the spring in my step... .   I want them to remain MINE

I was so used to giving myself up completely to my exBPD that I did not really save anything for myself.

It's a lovely feeling to be protective of myself and my new emerging world and to have no urge to give it all away willy nilly.

I am proud of who I am now... .   proud of what is rising from the ashes... .   and feel no pull to share the new me with anyone other than worthy people.

Not sure about you guys, but my lack of boundaries or self-knowledge was a big factor in all of this.

I think I have both now

BB12

[Want2know]

This makes me smile, BB12! 

I am in the same boat.  It is a wonderful feeling!

[Diligence]

Bravo, bb12!   

I look forward to enjoying the same safety with friends and delight in life!  You  encourage me!

Warm regards!

[bb12]

thanks guys!

feels like real progress now

[Surnia]

 

Yes this is progress.  I am happy with you. 

[Cumulus]

Bb. Heart warming, inspiring and happy thoughts. I think I underestimated the amount of work it would take to get there. At the beginning thought, he's gone, I'm OK. Then, well he's gone why aren't I OK. Reading your post is a great reminder what hard work and time can accomplish. Hope that was the first of many many wonderful weekends.  

[heartandwhole]

bb12, thank you for this inspiring post  

I can relate, although I am at one year and one week of breakup and NC    I am starting to feel good about myself again.  The other day I realized that I like myself    I haven't had that feeling for a long time.

Things have definitely changed for the better - I am rising out of the ashes, and better for it!

Best wishes to you for continued positive changes and thanks for sharing  

[Maryiscontrary]

Wow, you guys inspire me.

[maria1]

Beautifully expressed BB12

I am very happy for you. You deserve good things.

[laelle]

I was so used to giving myself up completely to my exBPD that I did not really save anything for myself.

It's a lovely feeling to be protective of myself and my new emerging world and to have no urge to give it all away willy nilly.

Beautifully said and so very true.  Its nice to be able to look things in the eye now and say "nope, thats not for me"  "That wont make me happy"

[AnotherPhoenix]

  Tremendous progress, BB12!


Congratulations!

AnotherPheonix 

[dharmagems]

 

Happiness fills me.  Hearing you, I bringing in my body, and home, and heart that there is hope for my recovery.  I would like to trust myself more after all the shame and loss, and you bring me inspiration that I can start trusting myself more. 

All the love and warmth,

dharmagems