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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: Don't know what to do with this  (Read 550 times)
simenora
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« on: April 10, 2013, 08:44:58 PM »

I just came home from respite with my 12 yr old boy who has Tourette's ADHD and OCD. There were 6 police officers in my house. My daughter who has borderline and narcissistic and histrionic personality disorder has overdosed for the 6 th time in 18 months. She takes Tylenol and makes sure it is in her system long enough so they can't make her drink charcoal and then she either walks into or has somebody take her to emergency.

I have decided not to go to the hospital if it can be avoided. Trying not to reinforce the behavior. Thoughts?
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pessim-optimist
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« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2013, 08:49:35 PM »

Hm,

that's a hard one.      

Do you know what your dd tries to accomplish by her overdoses? Is there a specific trigger that causes her to take the pills?

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jellibeans
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« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2013, 10:51:52 PM »

Does your d know what those meds can do to her body? Is she really taking the amounts she says? My dd takes meds but they never seem to find the levels she says she has taken. I think my dd does it for attention... .   maybe because she is angry... .   I also think it is the ultimate in control... .   she controls if she lives or dies... .   A lot of this is about control and power... .  

One time when she was at the P hospital... .   they told me to try and not to bring her in when she does this because she was using the P hospital to cope with her problems. She either fights or flees... .  

Has she been in a Residential Treatment Center?
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simenora
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« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2013, 11:18:54 PM »

When she is in residential she fakes getting better so she can get out faster. She cons the docs and finds all sorts of reasons not to speak to psyche nurses or docs. She's rude and belligerent. She OD's after she treats us like garbage so she can avoid what she's done and as a way to punish us for sticking to boundaries. Also I suspect that she felt ashamed because a friend told her yesterday that she dressed and made up like a hooker. She was ranting last night and I finally said well to tell you the truth I don't care for the caked on mascara and cherry red lipstick with poorly applied liquid liner but I never thought it was my business to tell you how to paint yourself. Actually I was picking my battles and thought that saying anything about her make up might escalate her.

Really, one crisis worker about 3 years ago told me that she was having a real party when 2 emergency vehicles and 2 cop cars were sent to the house. Her second OD she took photos of herself and the IV s in the hospital and posted on Facebook. Her 3rd od there was an actual party in her room when i got there. she had notified all her friends and they showed up with tons of gifts for her. Today she called social services and told them she OD d and led them I a merry chase pinging her cell phone. She took herself to the hospital. She told them shed been drinking but there was only a half glass of wine missing.
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twojaybirds
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« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2013, 09:34:44 AM »

I am so sorry for this handful you are experiencing.  I hope your respite provided you some relief before getting home.

Your dd sounds like she is seeking attention for whatever reason (fearful of rejection, being alone, just for the thrill of it?)  I would not go to the hospital either.

HOw old is she?
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simenora
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« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2013, 09:50:11 AM »

She's 16. She once walked into her 11 year old brothers room and said I'm going to kill myself and its all your fault.

There's a social services team meeting this am. I am relinquishing custody. I want them to take her.
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jellibeans
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« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2013, 11:45:15 AM »

simenora

Oh I do see some startling similarities to my dd15... .   I think this where you really see the illness. It was one visit to the ER that finally made be realize that something was not right with her. This was three years ago... .   I wish I understood the fake illnesses and cry for attention. My dd likes to take photos too of the IVs etc... .   My dd blames us for her suicide attempts too. There are triggers for sure... .   some I think caused by bullying and friend issues.

I hope she gets the help she needs... .   does she think she needs help? Could it be that she did it because you were not there... .   my dd likes to punish me if I am away. I have not been able to go visit my family for over a year now because of her and my parents are in their 80s.

I think once she is removed from the home you will be able to gain some perspective on how to proceed. You need some time to recover. Please keep us posted... .    
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simenora
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2013, 07:39:13 PM »

The attention seeking is part of the histrionic personality disorder for my girl. She is full on cluster B.
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simenora
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« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2013, 11:59:17 AM »

Update. DD has gone noncom
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pessim-optimist
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« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2013, 12:33:44 PM »

Oh, simenora,   

Such difficult times you are going through with your dd. Difficult choices too, and no easy cookie-cutter answers... .  

How did the meeting go on Thursday?

Did they take her temporarily, or permanently?

Is your dd n/c because of it?

How do you feel about it? Are you in the upset or rather relieved, or both?

Let us know whatever you feel comfortable with sharing... .  

Thinking of you, sending you thoughts of support.   

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Being Mindful
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« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2013, 10:09:48 PM »

I just came home from respite with my 12 yr old boy who has Tourette's ADHD and OCD. There were 6 police officers in my house. My daughter who has borderline and narcissistic and histrionic personality disorder has overdosed for the 6 th time in 18 months. She takes Tylenol and makes sure it is in her system long enough so they can't make her drink charcoal and then she either walks into or has somebody take her to emergency.

I have decided not to go to the hospital if it can be avoided. Trying not to reinforce the behavior. Thoughts?

I see your post is from several days ago but I wanted to post anyway. We had so many trips to the ER either for drugs, overdoes, SI, or physical illness and a couple of times for rape. We eventually enlisted the help from my sister and her husband who would meet us there and take over, we'd go home to our youngest, or they would come get her at our house and deal completely with the hospital ER visits. Eventually, the ER visits stopped. I don't know if they stopped because we didn't get all hyped up anymore and we didn't participate. It's hard to say, but it's been a very long time since she has been to the ER.

Being Mindful
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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