Someone I used to know.

[Depression = 72% of members]

After months of NC breakup with my uBPD gf and looking back on the 10 months of living together, I can only deal with her by saying she's dead to me.

I am no longer trying to figure it out. I have deconstructed the templates and previous behavior patterns in me that felt comfortable in such a toxic situation.

I am moving forward no longer focused on her, her pathology and asking why. Plain and simply it was a learning experience that taught me many things and now I can move on. Peace to you all for the support and help. I cannot dwell here any longer.

Love you all, truly I do and I wish you the peace I have found.

[edwardg8144]

After months of NC breakup with my uBPD gf and looking back on the 10 months of living together, I can only deal with her by saying she's dead to me.

I am no longer trying to figure it out. I have deconstructed the templates and previous behavior patterns in me that felt comfortable in such a toxic situation.

I am moving forward no longer focused on her, her pathology and asking why. Plain and simply it was a learning experience that taught me many things and now I can move on. Peace to you all for the support and help. I cannot dwell here any longer.

Love you all, truly I do and I wish you the peace I have found.

[HarmKrakow]

After months of NC breakup with my uBPD gf and looking back on the 10 months of living together, I can only deal with her by saying she's dead to me.

I am no longer trying to figure it out. I have deconstructed the templates and previous behavior patterns in me that felt comfortable in such a toxic situation.

I am moving forward no longer focused on her, her pathology and asking why. Plain and simply it was a learning experience that taught me many things and now I can move on. Peace to you all for the support and help. I cannot dwell here any longer.

Love you all, truly I do and I wish you the peace I have found.

And that after 6 posts on this forum!

Well done!

[mango_flower]

Brilliant!  So nice to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I do hope that when/if you meet somebody else in the future, you will consider dropping by just to let us know, give us hope that there IS a future after a BPD relationship!

I wish you all the best x

[edwardg8144]

Brilliant!  So nice to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I do hope that when/if you meet somebody else in the future, you will consider dropping by just to let us know, give us hope that there IS a future after a BPD relationship!

I wish you all the best x

I will visit back no doubt. My fellow BPD relationship brothers and sister mean alot to me. I may have only post 6 times here but I've read on this site for over 6 months. The undeniable fact is: Everyone's posts build a foundation of understanding that BPDs are better abondoned. And the fact that I was in need of therapy to deconstruct the patterns in my psychi so as not be attracted to the pathology in the future.

[causticdork]

Congrats and good luck to you.   

[sunrising]

I do hope that when/if you meet somebody else... .  

I've already met someone!  He's got some codependency issues, he's a bit of a fixer, he's not the best at validating himself all the time, and he has a few other shortcomings he intends to work on... .     He's a human, after all.  But most people seem to like him, he tries his best, he's talented, intelligent and a few people even think he's good looking.  He has an interesting name too!

It's... .              Sunrising   



Edwardg, congratulations on deciding to go live life for you! 

[TheDude]

I am moving forward no longer focused on her, her pathology and asking why.

This is what the goal is. Detachment. Letting go. Vast majority focus on yourself and embracing the fact that nobody else's dysfunction need define who you are. I'm right there with ya, Ed.

Rock on. 

[ScotisGone74]

Quote from: mango_flower on Today at 12:13:16 PM

I do hope that when/if you meet somebody else... .  

I've already met someone!  He's got some codependency issues, he's a bit of a fixer, he's not the best at validating himself all the time, and he has a few other shortcomings he intends to work on... .     He's a human, after all.  But most people seem to like him, he tries his best, he's talented, intelligent and a few people even think he's good looking.  He has an interesting name too!

It's... .              Sunrising   



Edwardg, congratulations on deciding to go live life for you! 




<Looks into the mirror:   I'm smart, I'm nice, and dogg gone it people like me

[jj2121]

Well done, it is good to hear! I still feel confused and keep running over everything in my mind, it has been going on for months now.

[Lucky Jim]

Well said, Edward!  You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure it all out, believe me.  As TheDude said, detach, let go and rock on!

As one writer put it: "It is of no use trying to save those who fundamentally would rather not be saved."

Sorry you had to go through this experience, but we've all been there . . .

[edwardg8144]

Thank you for the well wishes... .   it truly means a great deal to me from fellow veterans of the uBPD experience whom understand the shear scope of utter toxicity and bewilderment of such a relationship.