so glad this was helpful svasana! here's another little diddly from my past ex that might make you laugh (and, please laugh at this point, ok, i'm doing pretty good now
after our big breakup, my ex got a new bf and announced it on FB 2 weeks after meeting him, while we were still living together. they have a turbulent r/s, it was stupid, they break up 4 months later. somehow i was still clinging on, i didn't know about BPD at the time. 2 months after she broke up with this guy, we'd been talking for a while, walking, talking working out a bunch of things we *should* have talked about while in the r/s, but of course it was impossible then. we were both dating people at the time but neither too serious. she put on a front, told me how she realized how she had done this/that wrong in our past r/s, the whole 9. i caved, wrote her a love letter (i don't regret this at all, i needed to know). she gets the letter, says it left her speechless, we agree to meet for dinner. i go to the dinner knowing that either we are going to give it another try or not, but i knew i had to find out. we worked through some really tough issues over the dinner, somehow staying respectful, i'm still glad we did it. before i'm leaving though, at the end of the night i ask if she thinks about being back together... . she says nothing. and, i understand, i just wanted to try, i was thankful just for the dialogue. so, i politely tell her thanks so much, and, that since i was dating someone that i'd have to let them know i was still dealing with some leftover emotions, and that i needed a break with no contact from her (exBPD) so that i could heal and move forward. i felt like the r/s was over (it was,
) and that it was my responsibility to heal on my own b/c i wanted some point later to be friends, even if we were with other people. so, i get my stuff, say goodbye and leave... . then as i'm walking out the door, she says "Wait!"... . i look back, she's almost in tears. i'm like "what?", she comes over to the door and grabs me, holds me crying fully, then "i never stopped loving you! i thought of you everyday! i'm so sorry for what happened! i miss waking up to you every morning! boohoohoo, i love you so much. i miss the way you SMELL! blahblahfrigginblah!". unbelievable. when she/we both stopped crying in a grip of death hug we agreed we wanted to get back together, we both agreed to break up with our current dates, we agreed we would take things slow, be more understanding and try hard.
next day in the evening, i had such a tough conversation with the girl i was dating having to tell her i was giving my ex r/s another chance. i felt horrible doing this. then,
literally, just after i hang up and break up with the woman i was dating, my ex calls me and says "i dunno, i think i want to be single. maybe you should stay with that girl". LOL. it wasn't even 24 hours later! there's more to this story but i've made it long enough.
alls this to say, we FEEL you svasana, stay STRONG!
