The walls are closing in

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

The BPDw is back East visiting her folks at my insistence because I needed time away from her. She was supposed to stay until August... .   she's sick of it there and is coming back at the end of this month... .   even though I don't want her too and have clearly, and numerous times said I need space to get healthy and deal with my codependency issues & she needs to figure out how to get happy - because she wasn't happy here either.

We have an apt here. I'm currently unemployed looking for work and she rarely works because of her emotional/anxiety/BPD issues. After 8 years of dealing with her "issues" - I'm working on me and I'm not ready to make a decision about divorce right now - but I find the distance is a welcome pleasure and I'm happy she's not here... .   email and phone calls is perfect level of communication. She won't take no for an answer and leaves me in a VERY difficult spot.

Ugh.

[jedicloak]

The BPDw is back East visiting her folks at my insistence because I needed time away from her. She was supposed to stay until August... .   she's sick of it there and is coming back at the end of this month... .   even though I don't want her too and have clearly, and numerous times said I need space to get healthy and deal with my codependency issues & she needs to figure out how to get happy - because she wasn't happy here either.

We have an apt here. I'm currently unemployed looking for work and she rarely works because of her emotional/anxiety/BPD issues. After 8 years of dealing with her "issues" - I'm working on me and I'm not ready to make a decision about divorce right now - but I find the distance is a welcome pleasure and I'm happy she's not here... .   email and phone calls is perfect level of communication. She won't take no for an answer and leaves me in a VERY difficult spot.

Ugh.

[jedicloak]

My counselor reminds me I have options... .   I can leave and stay somewhere else. I can set firm boundaries and get an accountability partner to help me maintain them. Neither option is great. I'm happy being separated by space right now. Anyone have thoughts on this or ideas I haven't thought of?