Feeling the void today

[rogerroger]

For almost 15 years my stbx was the first person I would talk to every morning and whenever I came home. We would talk about little things and big things, past, present, and future events. For 10 months now she has not been here, but it still feels strange that we can't talk. I guess I miss it. Somehow I was just extra struck by it today.

[Hurt llama]

That's a long time to be together and a long time apart. I understand and am not surprised, even if she wasn't BPD, it's not an easy thing to end such a long relationship and feelings such as you feel seem pretty normal to me.

[Clearmind]

RR, 15 years is a long time. It takes time to detach - there were good times too.

How are you looking after yourself - friends, family, interests?

[atcrossroads]

Roger,

I'm sorry you are having a bad day - I hope you start feeling better soon.  I, too, am out of a long term marriage with a husband who I really loved, and I have mostly good memories.  I've only been gone 2.5 months (I left) and I struggle a lot with missing him and missing our life together.  I relate very much to your example of just the daily positive interactions - we talked - about anything and everything.  A LOT.  We connected and saw many things in the same way.  We both loved to read, and he was incredibly smart, and we loved talking about books, news, history, etc. 

Last week I was really missing him and then got some very nasty emails from him which kind of "fixed" the missing him part.  But, this week, I'm missing him again.  I have no advice really - just wanted to say you aren't alone.  We can't erase the good memories.  But maybe it helps sometimes to think about the bad stuff.

Hang in there.