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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Things that make me happy (or "reasons to be cheerful")  (Read 667 times)
Wooddragon
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« on: April 24, 2013, 09:23:14 PM »

Please forgive this indulgence! I have been reading and attempting to put into practice mindfulness - with daily assistance/readings from Elkhart tolle. Today I had a moment of profound and wakeful happiness - but what are the "things" that can inspire that feeling? So for me:

- the satisfaction of seeing a line full of crisp clean washing drying in the sun with my contented horses grazing in the background

- listening to my daughter practicing her violin & trying so hard to get it right

- walking through the beautiful garden at her school

- the sound of bellbirds in the trees on the river

- the expression on my puppies face when she gets praised for being good

I would love to hear what brings joy to others so please feel free to add! Smiling (click to insert in post)
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maria1
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« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2013, 01:02:48 AM »

Hi Wooddragon

This is nice- thank you. I'm having a bad week so this is just what I need. My moments of happiness are when I am relaxing and laughing with my children.

I'm not sure I can think of any more. I have moments of times of real enjoyment when I am on my own but I think I need to work on my happiness factor.

Good post thank you.




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KE151
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« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2013, 01:12:27 AM »

Great and genuinely positive thread. Mine:

- seeing my kids laugh together and hug each other

- eating breakfast by myself in peace and quiet

- reading my favorite magazine and enjoying a coffee

- having a good friend over and talking about life
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maria1
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« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2013, 01:18:36 AM »

Ke151

Great list and thank you on a personal note - breakfast with a nice coffee is a BIG one for me. I really look after myself with breakfast!
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KE151
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« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2013, 01:43:45 AM »

Good morning maria, (it's morning where I'm posting)

I just finished my breakfast and sat on the couch with my favorite coffee mug (hand painted by my then 2 year old boy), looking outside at the sunshine. Not bad!

Wishing you happy moments today too, start with a coffee :-))

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MammaMia
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« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2013, 01:53:19 AM »

Making other people happy makes me happy.

Knowing I have done my best makes me happy.

Lack of conflict makes me happy.

A sunny day makes me happy.

My cats make me happy.



Simple things make me happy, and every day is a blessing if you look at it positively.
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maria1
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« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2013, 04:22:25 AM »

KE151

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I always do the breakfast and coffee these days. It's something just for me. On really self indulgent days I bring breakfast back to bed and have 2 coffees! 
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KE151
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« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2013, 06:10:07 AM »

KE151

Thank you for the kind thoughts. I always do the breakfast and coffee these days. It's something just for me. On really self indulgent days I bring breakfast back to bed and have 2 coffees! 

Outrageously hedonistic - me like.
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Maryiscontrary
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« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2013, 07:41:55 AM »

Okay this is an awesome thread.

I am really greatful for the awesome people on this board.

I am greatful for this luxurious life set up that costs almost nothing to maintain.

I am greatful for my friends, even though I am disconnected.

Now, this one is different.

Here in this specific part of west Texas. It is a different sensory experience, and it is quantitative and qualitative... .  not just madman rantings. Sharp abrasive sounds are muffled. So it gives the impression of being very quiet, even when walking along a noisy area. Also, for whatever reason, the colors are brighter. Like psychedelic bright, the red soil seems to distort and vibrate against the blue sky. And yesterday, the mequiites were in bloom, which looked like fluorescent green, which contrasted against the fluorescent yellow of the wildflowers which contrasted against the blue sky which contrasted again the vibrating red soil. Which contrasted against the glowing puffy whiteness of the clouds. I've often thought I was hallucinating, until I captured it with my cheap iPad camera and brought out my artistic cohorts to see for themselves.

I cannot being to tell you how happy this makes me. It's like being stoned or on Xanax.
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Wooddragon
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« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2013, 07:56:13 AM »

West Texas sounds amazing! It is true that when you are really noticing what's around you, it creates that space to be happy.

It is Thursday night here now. I can tell everyone who is enjoying their day that a lovely full moon is coming your way (the moon is in the same cycle everywhere in the world right?)

It looked huge rising up over the hill to the east while the entire sky to the west was bright red.

I'm looking forward to my morning coffee now after reading others posts!

Maria - sorry to hear you are down - I'm trying to remember the feeling of being happy & positive because I have downs as well as ups and i have decided to count less extreme downs as progress. I really hope you can see the moon from where you are tonight. Your posts have been helpful to me do I'm sending some positive thoughts your way  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Maryiscontrary
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« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2013, 08:16:34 AM »

Maria is just awesome. Her personality is very similar to that of my best friend, the one who was seeing the 500 pound el chunko. By the way, she dropped him. Not that Maria would date a 500 lb fat bast... .  d playa... .  but the warm, welcoming sweet kind personality is the the same. Almost dead ringer.
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Mara2
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« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2013, 10:24:01 AM »

Always a good idea to count blessings!

*Seeing my children relax and enjoy life

*A good cup of coffee (seems to be a thread here)

*Chocolate!

*Watching out my window to see if I can catch a glimpse of the resident moose (you have to spend some time at this)

*Taking a walk in the woods

*Quilting or stitching by hand

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turtle
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WWW
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2013, 12:49:03 PM »

I love my home.  It is my sanctuary and my favorite place to be.  It is not fabulous, but it is mine.

My friends make me happy -- oh how they make me smile.

I have new knees and they are FANTASTIC!  To know I will never have another dislocation - ever again.  Pure joy. Sometimes, I still can't wrap my brain around how great this is!

I have food on my table. Heat in my house. A bed (which I am way too attached to.) I am clothed, I am healthy.

And most of all... .  I am at peace.

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maria1
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« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2013, 01:15:46 PM »

Thanks for the positive strokes people! You guys rock. And roll   
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VeryFree
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« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2013, 01:28:21 PM »

Things that make me happy this days:

- Walking outside seeing a dog playing and having fun with his boss.

- A newly born butterfly going from flower to flower.

- A total stranger (m/f) that gives me a wellmeant friendly smile (I really am happy then!).

- Little gestures from friends when having a hard time: a little touch, a friendly word, or just staying quiet.

- Being touched on friendly manner (strange one, that I realise just now; I never really liked being touched by others (meaning it in a non-sexual-way), but these days I like it when somebody puts his of her hand on my arm or shoulder).

- A freshly made breakfast (tomorrow-morning I have time and I'm gonna make that one): cup of coffee, juice, fresh bread (one with cheese, one with something sweet), a soft-boiled egg and some fruit.
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