without fear of abandonment... is it BPD?

[WolfSpider]

Hi, all

UBPD bro (who, the more I learn, I believe may be more ASPD than BPD) displays most of the "classic" BPD features, most strikingly a lack/shifting sense of identity (weird, fake accents), splitting, rejection sensitivity, extremely low tolerance for frustration, long-term chronic susbtance abuse, reckless driving/repeated crashes, lack of trustworthiness, lack of empathy, lack of insight, torrid personal relationships and depression. However, my experience is that he doesn't seem to fear "abandonment," by which I mean he seems to hold me (and, frankly, most people) in very low regard and doesn't seem to want any kind of closeness. He is certainly not "clingy". In my experience, the few times he has appeared to express a desire to participate in an event or have a relationship it seems to have been motivated by a desire to look like a "good guy" people should want to have around. In reality, he is dangerous and frightening; any hesitation on anyone's part to get close to him in these situations enrages him. Is the rejection sensitivity-- he's hypervigilant for percieved 'slights' and, although mean-spirited and gleefully cruel to others, unable to tolerate even the gentlest criticism-- what is meant by fear of abandonment?

Your replies are greatly appreciated, as always... . 

[Clearmind]

Borderlines cannot control the fear felt when faced with the idea of having to cope with life alone.  This fear is acted out in various ways – by splitting, maladaptive coping mechanisms (reckless driving), rejection sensitivity.

The fear itself can sabotage relationships before they begin - which then reinforces the fear. It’s a cycle which I witnessed with my ex a lot. The fear of intimacy, engulfment and abandonment create a push/pull dynamic and is usually witnessed more by intimate partners.

It’s complex and while none of us can diagnose your brother, he certainly sounds troubled.

How do you cope on a day to day basis WolfSpider?

[shutout]

Could he possibly be high functioning on the autism spectrum?