Do they ever experience crisis?
Does this trigger remorse or introspection?
Or do they bumble along smashing into people and wrecking lives infinitum?
Bb12
I do think my ex had moments of crisis and he also had moments where he would express remorse. I never knew if his apologies were true remorse - or if they were just some "skill" he'd learned along the way. Afterall, if someone is truly remorseful for what they've done, they don't do it again. And that certainly wasn't my experience with my ex. It was a constant lather, rinse, and repeat.
My best guess is that if his feelings of remorse or introspection were real, they were just as fleeting as ALL of the rest of his feelings. His feelings were like a candy wrapper in the wind. And so... . I think my ex bumbles along smashing into people and wrecking lives. The devastation in his wake is undeniable. As time has gone on, I don't really care about him or his candy wrapper feelings. I don't care what makes him tick like an off kilter clock anymore.
The more curious question to me was, why was I so willing to stay involved with someone who was so clearly unstable and violent? And why... . when he proved to me time and time again... . that he was more than capable of harming me... . did I stick around for his BS. Why was I so willing to be treated so, so poorly?
Those were the questions I had to answer. Not fun... . but oh so necessary.
turtle