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Foreverhopefull
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« on: April 30, 2013, 01:34:42 PM » |
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This weekend was my dBPDh's first "snap" in a long time, he's had depressed periods and all but always was in control of his reaction and would snap out of it pretty quickly.
Sunday, my dad asked him if he would be OK with cutting a bunch of trees at his place (my husband has been a lumberjack for over 25 years). I was so happy that he agreed to do it (we are asking my dad to help build a huge deck at our house, so I saw it fitting that we help him out too.).
It was going great and I could see him getting into it again (he's been on disability for almost 2 years)... . until the chain got dislodged. He tried fixing it, seeing it was a model he never worked with he got frustrated with it.
I could see him slowly snapping as he was trying to fix it, it started with a few grunts, followed by a few swear words, then he started dissing himself (I'm an idiot, I'm a loser, I should stick to what I can do... . nothing, etc.) and then that was it, he snapped... . but to my surprise it was a controlled implosion.
He just dropped the tools he had in his hand on the workbench, told me he was leaving, asked if he should take the dog with him, got my purse out of the car and ask if I was OK for a ride home, then he drove home... . normally, as if nothing was going on.
About 30 min later he sent me a text saying he was sorry.
The fun thing though, is my dad was the first to notice and when I told him my dBPDh had left, his response was : "That's OK honey, he really tried and he's right my chainsaw is a b%#$@. Remember that a few months / months ago, he would have never come to help."
That's when I'm happy we are taking the full disclosure route with our families. Knowing more of what BPD is is helping them better understand his reactions.
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