Prepping for potential issue?

[Bpdfamilymember]

I have a family member who may be BPD. They've been having treatment for awhile but no diagnosis.  There may be an event soon which could set off depression and possibly angry or suicidal response. We have received no help or guidance from the people treating this person.  It would seem like talking family member into an inpatient care at a place that specializes in mental health and crisis would be the best, especially right after the event.

Does that make sense? Are there suggestions in regarding how to talk a patient into voluntarily admitting into such a place? They are living alone so concerned about when they aren't being watched. We're trying to plan ahead and get as much in order as possible to minimize potential risk to themselves or others but trying to get real guidance on this has been very difficult.

Any suggestions appreciated.

[mamachelle]

Hi bpdfamilymember,



Can you tell us a little more... .  

Which member of your family and how old are they?

Can you tell us a little more about the event?

Has this person every attempted suicide in the past?

What is the status quo for this person's life at the moment-- are they in a relationship? working? in school? living in a safe place?

Looking forward to hearing more of your story.

best,

mamachelle

[heartandwhole]

 

Hi bpdfamilymember,

I would just like to add my welcome to you.  You've come to the right place for support for a family member with BPD.  There are lots of tools here to help make things better.  Best of all, there are a lot of people who are in similar situations who can support you.

If you can give us a little more background into the situation, we can point you in the right direction.

heartandwhole

[Bpdfamilymember]

Thanks for the responses.

Grown adult man in 30-40's - sibling

event- separation from spouse, children

Has verbally indicated pos. suicide thoughts in past.

Suffers from physical issues as well.

Would be living alone if this happens.

Doing ok currently but want to try to anticipate and minimize any issues.

Not expecting a good response but no idea which way this will go and how far and quickly.

Thought inpatient might be best to help defuse possible immediate issues with hope of longer term treatment.

[mamachelle]

Hi bpdfamilymember,

It is great that you are trying to prep for the upcoming separation to help your Brother.

I guess the problem here is that he is an adult and you just can't commit someone to psychiatric inpatient treatment.

Here is an article that might give you some ideas:

Helping a loved one with BPD seek treatment

Your SIL may want to read this before she leaves the family house, unexpectedly:

TOOLS: Exiting a BPD relationship [romantic partners] 

Splitting / Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist

Why hasn't your SIL told her H she is leaving? I guess I am also confused as to what is going on with him, if he's in treatment?

Sorry to ask so many questions, but it will help us to help you and your Brother's family if you give us more details of what is going on with his behavior, his marriage -- a little more background like how long married?-- how many and age of kids?

mamachelle

[Bpdfamilymember]

We're not looking to force him in. Trying to see if it's reasonable to talk into and if so how. I'll read the docs you linked to.

She will be telling him soon. That's why I'm preparing.

Not sure he's getting the correct treatment (unclear how much, how often, no diagnosis, etc) and doesn't seem to be improving. May be too much to handle. Trying not cover too much detail in case he signs up here.

[mamachelle]

bpdfamilymember,

Please check out this book.

I am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!

It does actually give you a number of options for what you are prepping for ... .  from voluntary to involuntary admissions. As well as great advice for learning how the world looks to the seriously mentally ill. The LEAP method is very good to use and takes practice but is a fairly simple concept.

Senior members here on the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw board are experienced with and can help you with the validation, information, and support you need.

 mamachelle

[Bpdfamilymember]

Thanks, reading it now.