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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Topic: Rough Day (Read 617 times)
Sharkey167
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Posts: 85
Rough Day
«
on:
May 12, 2013, 01:23:13 PM »
So my ex recently had her new bf visiting the area from overseas (she started communicating with him a month after we broke up). I don't have fb or instagram but people insisted on informing me about her constant updates and pictures (even though I said I don't want to hear about it).
It's a great big show of "look at me I must be happy look at all these pics!" He has gone back home this past week I guess. Today I've just felt crappy. Cause now she has officially "moved on" and it all just still bothers me. It sucks because I was doing pretty good for a while. I wish I didn't care anymore. She's not worthy of my energy.
It's been 9 months since we broke up and sometimes my mind still gets the better of me. I've contemplated going to some therapy but idk if it's really necessary or if this is just part of the whole recovery process.
Anyway, just wanted to vent. Hopefully this is just a hiccup.
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afterdeath
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single...4 months post bpdex
Posts: 249
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #1 on:
May 12, 2013, 01:36:51 PM »
Don't be so disappointed.
You think her charade is fooling anyone? She's doomed to repeat three same patterns with this fool as she did to you, what makes it even worse is this relationship sounds long distance. Do you know what that usually means, especially people of this caliber? That some sweet sugar daddy is somewhere near to swoop in and be her crying shoulder when she's feeling lonely.
Trust me I've seen it, these people use others to get their needs met no matter what, could you accept sharing intimacies with other strangers?
My ex had a sister who had a marine for a boyfriend, her sister professes unshakeable love for him and pictures galore when he's around, is what you don't see and when the camera isn't around is when the true monsters come out.
She was a drinker, I've witnessed her grinding on other men at bars and even taking shots at me while her man is not around.
So let me ask you, what about this behavior appeals to you, because I guarantee this is happening with her.
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confetti
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 73
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #2 on:
May 12, 2013, 01:44:16 PM »
it really bites to stumble upon something you don't want to hear or see!
i really feel you on that Sharkey >_<
it's all a facade, though. somewhere within you you should know this since you were feeling good at some point and she didn't even cross your mind!
she could be putting it out there to upset you and if that's the case it's working! don't let her control you outside of a relationship too.
my exBPD always would post pictures the minute we had a falling out. its all about proving something in the form of makeup with them, if you ask me.
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Sharkey167
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Posts: 85
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #3 on:
May 12, 2013, 10:44:59 PM »
Quote from: confetti on May 12, 2013, 01:44:16 PM
it's all a facade, though. somewhere within you you should know this since you were feeling good at some point and she didn't even cross your mind!
It's true, I was going for a while where I didn't let it bother me. But now hearing about it/seeing it and knowing exactly what this poor fool is going to experience makes me angry and sick.
When we were together she rarely took pictures. But before we were together she wasn't posting idiotic things all the time. I once asked her why she stopped and she said, "I do that because usually I'm not having that much fun and it makes it look like things are better than they are. With you, I just enjoyed the moment and being with you and didn't feel that need to compensate with that."
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Sharkey167
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Posts: 85
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #4 on:
May 12, 2013, 10:48:25 PM »
*She
was
posting idiotic things all the time.
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confetti
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 73
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #5 on:
May 13, 2013, 12:23:31 PM »
Quote from: Sharkey167 on May 12, 2013, 10:44:59 PM
"I do that because usually I'm not having that much fun and it makes it look like things are better than they are."
there doesn't seem to be anything suspicious about that in any way.
that really seems to be what it is and she gave you a hint to that earlier along the road.
i really hope you feel better... .
try and remember that these words and pictures are running on your imagination pretty heavily based your mindset. until you truly get yourself to understand that it's not real will you begin to believe it and not worry or feel it as a threat to how happy you are and can be.
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Sharkey167
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Posts: 85
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #6 on:
May 13, 2013, 10:24:55 PM »
Quote from: confetti on May 13, 2013, 12:23:31 PM
Quote from: Sharkey167 on May 12, 2013, 10:44:59 PM
"I do that because usually I'm not having that much fun and it makes it look like things are better than they are."
there doesn't seem to be anything suspicious about that in any way.
that really seems to be what it is and she gave you a hint to that earlier along the road.
i really hope you feel better... .
try and remember that these words and pictures are running on your imagination pretty heavily based your mindset. until you truly get yourself to understand that it's not real will you begin to believe it and not worry or feel it as a threat to how happy you are and can be.
You're right. Thank you, all of you. Thank God for this place.
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leftbehind
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 320
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #7 on:
May 13, 2013, 10:45:56 PM »
Yeah, it definitely sounds like your ex is fronting. Don't fall for it. Just another attempt to sucker you back in. You sound like you see through it, so good for you
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Sharkey167
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Posts: 85
Re: Rough Day
«
Reply #8 on:
May 14, 2013, 08:27:22 AM »
Quote from: leftbehind on May 13, 2013, 10:45:56 PM
Yeah, it definitely sounds like your ex is fronting. Don't fall for it. Just another attempt to sucker you back in. You sound like you see through it, so good for you
Haha well I do know that creature.
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