Why I can not hate her?

wanttoknowmore

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 360

Why I can not hate her?

« on: May 12, 2013, 07:34:48 PM »

It's over 6 weeks NC... . feeling much much better. I had her thought today on Mother's day. Felt like I should greet her 'happy mother's day' but I DIDNOT.

I just said a little prayer in my heart for her health and happiness.

I do feel sad that such a wonderful woman suffers from BPD. I know after reading thousands of pages about BPD that It's not her fault that she got this bad illness. Just like us, pwBPDs suffer... . probably more than us. They deserve

our forgiveness and wellwishes. PwBPD didnot hurt us... . her illness hurt us.I truly believe it.


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BorderlineMagnet

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 158

Re: Why I can not hate her?

« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2013, 07:43:51 PM »

That's crazy, I was actually thinking the exact same thing about my ex today. I wanted to wish her Happy Mom Day, because I believe that was the one thing real about her, the way she loves her kids. But I couldn't do it. I felt some anger towards her lately, but I can't hate her either. I just still miss her too much too. And yes, the illness left me and stole my personality traits, she didn't.


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TippyTwo

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: none
Posts: 53

Re: Why I can not hate her?

« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2013, 08:24:02 PM »

I hear you both. I don't ever want to hate my ex or anyone for that matter. Hate is such a horrible and destructive emotion.

In the times when she seemed genuinely happy and almost peaceful, I was happy for her. People deserve to be happy, unconflicted, and connected to others in healthy ways.


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fromheeltoheal

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Gender: Male

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642

Re: Why I can not hate her?

« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2013, 08:32:46 PM »

Good call, hate the disorder, not the sufferer. And also remember that we cannot fix them, and it would take a boatload of work for them to fix themselves. Make sure and have compassion from afar, and stay NC.


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