Ridiculous isn't it?

[vboy]

Hi gang!

Well, I just want to vent... .  

I treated my BP1BPDwife for our 10 years of marriage very well. Oh what I had to suffer with and still am, I don't need to tell you! Of course she can't see it as she is too busy projecting her bad behaviour on to me, blaming me for her miseries in life and because of that I have become public enemy number one! She can't understand why everyone is against her decision to getting a divorce, but she won't listen to anyone or work on it... .  can't they see how bad I am. that she is a victim and needs to get away? Hmmmmm... .  No!

I feel like I am wasting my efforts on her as she is a bucket with a hole in it. I know she for the most part can't help it... .  But I am getting sick of it... .  

I am sure there is someone else that would very much appreciate me, appreciating them! What a concept!

Thanks for being here and letting me say what I feel!

[hanginon]

We're here for you... .  I am new but can already see this is a great support network to validate our non BPD feelings and frustrations.  There have been times when my BPDw would do the projection thing on me and I would sit back and think... .  am I losing my mind? Everything she "is" somehow got painted on me... .  the first few times she did it, I really didn't know what to think other than I must be in some really bad dream.  I think that is one of the most frustrating things.  Attempting to address something with her and suddenly her issues are my issues.  Just protect yourself, physically and mentally... .  your sense of well being matters.

Good luck,

Hanginon

[House of Mirrors]

I am so glad I found this place and finally realised the madness I have lived in for 12 years... .  

All of the above ring bells but the saddest thing is the lying and the lack of trust that perpetuates and that we have to be perfect and truthful and will never KNOW the extent of their lies - and they can be SO believeable that we question our instincts and reality. Which leads me onto the double standard of one rule for them and one for you. The unfairness and the selfishness that they project onto you... .  it is never them you understand... .  

It is ALL hard but I think most of all living down a kaleidoscopic rabbit hole is the hardest where we KNOW something is terribly wrong but we are manipulated into beilieving all is OK (well it is for them - they are having their needs met and we aren't). Then there is the flip side of realising their role and yours and finding others who are surviving / have survived and are battered, tired and weary. Relief!

Pleased to see others who are / have getting / got clear on things and detatching or acknoweldging any codependency they have. That is where I am at... .  

[House of Mirrors]

Sorry my above post should have been on the 'hardest trait' thread but I am having problems navigating as a newbie! The >> button seems to take me to the next thread - how do I go to the end or next page of a thread I  am in?

[vboy]

Hi House of Mirrors,

Truth be told, when I read your reply it fit! I knwo how you feel!

I you are trying to find your thread, type it in the search box, that might help.

[House of Mirrors]

OK thanks Vboy.

[Clearmind]

Its really tough vboy – no doubt. We have all been there.

What do you do when she casts accusations and blame your way?